You know the music that plays in those fantasy movies? The kind when the mermaids are swimming about in the water, or the faeries are flying around? It sounds all hobbit like...kind of folksy...That's the kind of music that is running through my head as I stumble along the beach, gazing up at the night sky. The water rushes in and tickles my feet before sliding back out into the ocean once again, leaving me missing its gentle touch for a few moments until it returns again. It feels so nice on my skin. I cast a longing glance out over the water, the moon coming in and out of focus. I wonder what it would be like to live in the water, swimming under the sun and moon all the time, not caring about anything. Slowly, I slide my phone out of my pocket and my pack of smokes from my bra, setting them down in the sand. I know that it is a bad idea, but I am unable to feel concerned. Maybe it's because of all the different drugs and alcohols in my system, but I tip toe out into the water, laughing as it rushes up to meet me and pulls me out further. I walk until my feet are no longer touching the ground, then I lie back and float. Closing my eyes, I imagine myself in a fantasy land where the fish glow and the stars are within reach. There is music and magic and nothing ever hurts; there are no cravings or itchiness...only contentment. I smile and lift my hand to touch the stars...
I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I am aware of is a burning sensation in my lungs, and the sound of feet sloshing quickly through the water. I try to draw in a breath, but I can't, and then I feel something slam into my back, causing whatever was stuck in my lungs to come spewing from my mouth. Turns out, it was water. My eyes flutter open and I find myself looking up into the smooth face of a strange man. The water droplets in his hair and eyelashes look like tiny diamonds, making him sparkle.
"Are you an angel?" I hear myself whisper, despite the burning in my throat.
A look of confusion plays across his face, then he lets out a breath, smiling. "No, my name's Lucas. I saw you go under and I pulled you out."
I stare at him, completely out of it and uncomprehending. "I'm all wet?"
"Yeah...you walked out into the water about ten minutes ago...Don't you remember?" He wonders, frowning when I shake my head. "Do you remember your name?"
"Carter," I croak, wincing.
Lucas studies me for a moment, then he shakes his head. "You're higher than a fucking kite." He mutters, offering me a hand up.
"M'not high." I mutter, spotting my phone and cigarettes and picking them up.
He scoffs, steadying me when I almost stumble over. "My mom was an addict, trust me, I know what stoned looks like."
I lean back and look up at Lucas. His light brown hair is plastered to his forehead, and water is running into his sea green eyes. Light freckles dust his nose and cheeks, giving him an innocent boyish look; I feel my lips curling up into a smile.
"Thanks for saving me."
"No problem...anyone would have done it." He mumbles, a slight blush creeping over his cheeks. Then, realizing that his hands are still holding my waist, he clears his throat and steps back, scratching the back of his neck.
I laugh softly, pushing my wet hair out of my eyes. We stand there in silence for a few minutes, me staring out at the water, and him at me. I can feel the light weight of his eyes on me, like the touch of a feather; it makes me smile. Lucas, unlike most boys I meet, keeps his distance and his hands stay in his pockets, and I find myself enjoying his silent company.
"Lucas?" I say after a while, turning to face him.
He meets my gaze evenly, green eyes shinning. "Yeah?"
"What were you doing out here at two in the morning?" I wonder, lighting a cigarette.
"Sometimes when I can't sleep, I drive here and walk around." He explains, offering a small smile. "What about you?"
I nod in the direction of the trees, where there is the faint glow of firelight. "Partying."
Lucas doesn't say anything, he just chuckles softly and turns to look at the ocean again. I study him some more, taking in his soaked clothes. They cling to his body like a second skin; I notice how nice his arms are. Not overly muscled but not stick thin either. Once again, I feel my lips curving up into a smile, and I have the sudden urge to run my hands over those arms. Fortunately, the wind picks up and I start shivering, the cold chasing away my urges.
"How about I drive you home?" Lucas says, turning to face me.
I could decline his offer, but my body is shaking far too much for him to be okay with leaving me here, so I nod and follow him back to his truck. I slide in and he cranks up the heat, handing me a sweater from the backseat that I gladly slip over my head. The smell of pine and laundry detergent fill my nose, and I catch a hint of tobacco but I'm not sure if it's from me or the sweater. I cast a sidelong glance at Lucas and a warm feeling blooms in my chest, catching me off guard. He has one hand draped over the steering wheel, the other is fiddling with the radio. When he finds the station he likes, Lucas runs his fingers through his hair, making it stick up all over the place. I smile and look up at the roof of the truck; it is littered with stickers and photos. I open my mouth to ask about it, but I hear him chuckle and I can feel his eyes on my face.
"It's all the places I've been." He explains with a shrug. "Rome, Peru, Ireland...everywhere. I had something that I wanted to do in each place. Like, hike up to Machu Pichu in a dress...dumb things." Lucas lets out a nervous laugh. "It was a thing I did with my mom before she died. It's kind of stupid."
There is a pang in my chest, and I shake my head. "It's not stupid." I whisper, studying the pictures. "I've always wanted to travel." I say quietly, more to myself than anything, but Lucas hears me.
"Then travel." He suggests, curiosity in his voice.
"It's not that simple." I reply, feeling my shoulders tense up; this wasn't something that I wanted to talk about.
Lucas sighs, but he doesn't push the subject, instead, he focuses his eyes on the road. "I don't know where you live."
I rattle off the directions, then we fall back into a comfortable silence; I gaze up at his pictures in wonder. So many places, and people to see, it's amazing really. My eyes catch on a photo of Lucas standing on a long rope bridge in the middle of a jungle, a huge grin on his face and his arms spread out wide. It looks like the most recent picture, and the words Costa Rica 2015 are written at the bottom of the photo. I feel something stir in my chest, and I pull my knees up to rest my chin on them.
"What's it like?" I murmur, tilting my head to look at him.
"What's what like?" He wonders quietly.
I lift my hand to trace the picture, not sure if the sparkles are real, or a hallucination. "Going to all these places. You get to see so many things, do so many things..."
"It was incredible." Lucas replies, a sad edge to his soft voice. "It was freedom."
My eyes flicker over to his face to study him again. There is a look in his eyes, telling me that he is far away, and I find myself wishing I could be there too. I want to see what he sees, feel whatever it is that he is feeling. I want to know what freedom feels like...I don't want to go home. Lucas slows down as he nears my house, then parks in the drive way. I swallow a sigh and move to take his sweater off, but he just chuckles and shakes his head, so I open the door and slide out.
"Thanks for the ride." I say, stuffing my hands into the huge pockets.
Lucas smiles, "Any time, it was nice meeting you Carter." he murmurs.
"Bye Lucas." I reply before shutting the door and walking to the front porch. He waits until I've made it inside, then I watch his headlights fade out.
