Un-Kingly Rule

Chapter 3: The Mature One

"What would you say if I told you I have a crush on you?"

I laughed. I was there doubting myself. Telling myself that someone like her would never want someone like me. She's much too mature to want someone with a reputation of being a heartbreaker. I asked her why would she have a crush on me (because I can't help myself sometimes) and she told me; "I saw you standing near the baseball field, you were facing Damien and I could only see the side of your face...but the way your hair blew in the wind, the way you stood, the way you just existed in that moment, I thought damn." Now, there are very few times in my life that I've been left speechless...this was one of them. The way she talked about me in that moment made me feel like we were talking about an anime or a TV soap. I can still remember the way my heart raced when I read that, and I can still remember my hand (which was healed at this point) shook as I texted her back.

"I would say, I have a crush on you too" I replied. And it was probably the first time I was honest with myself about how I felt about someone else. See, with Lilith I wanted to possess her. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted people to see Lilith butt naked and go "No, you can't even look at her because she belongs to the un-Kingly one." I didn't want to possess Marie. I wanted to corrupt her. I wanted to sail waters that others had failed to. And I did. I take credit for her sexual awakening because after me, she dated a guy that she did very much love. She gave him her virginity and they dated for a while. I didn't like him. I mean, how dare he touch my toys without my permission? But, when he was about to get jumped, I was there. Because my Marie begged me for help. When he sliced his hand open because his stupid ass punched through a window, I paid for the cab that took him to the hospital. It's important for a King to look after his subjects and their playthings. Even if they didn't ask for permission to have them.

No, with Kate, I didn't want those things. I wanted her to fall in love with me. I wanted her to want only me for the rest of her life because my love would be the only love that mattered. After that text exchange, we grew awkward around one another. Who would be the one to make the first move? Who would crack? Spoiler...it was her.

I found myself walking her to the subway, yet again. On that day, she turned to me, and despite being sick, she looked at me and said "I can't take it anymore" and she kissed me. Now, I don't like getting sick. I don't think I've ever met anyone who does and I doubt I ever fucking will. The idea that this beautiful, older, fucking sick girl kissed me right on the lips, was a win and a loss for me. I didn't complain, it was just a little peck, and I knew that more would follow. She would be mine and she would love it. I went home that day and slept through the night, and the next day...she didn't show.

I didn't see her for a few days while she recovered from being sick. When she finally did come back though, she was absolutely pleased to see me again. Not too long after our first official make out, we started dating. Our relationship was doomed from the start though. Her parents would never like someone like me. Someone they thought beneath their daughter. And I am who I am. I put her mother in her place one time, and I never spoke to that woman again. Though, I did continue to see Kate. Her and I never did have sex. We did however, do a lot of other things. She was the first girl that I went away with for the weekend, I was the first guy to go down on her, to finger her, see her naked. Pretty much anything really. And I was the first guy she went down on, the first guy she got off (with just her hand, which was also a first and last for me) and I was the first guy that she fell in love with. She was the first girl I cooked for. The second girl to meet my mother. The first being Lilith, but that was because Lilith just barged into my home one day. Kate was much more respectful in that she asked for permission to meet my mother, and left the decision up to her entirely. When they met, my mother liked her. Thought that she was sweet and smart as well as very beautiful. We spent the whole summer of 2008 together. Marie found out that her best friend and guy that she was in love with were dating each other, and she hated us both for it.

It was in that summer that me and Kate went away together. Her sister asked if we wanted to go stay with her for the weekend and we did. We wanted nothing more than to be alone for hours on end. Kate told me years later that her sister tried to convince her to have sex with me (wingman of the year?) but ultimately Kate wasn't ready, and I was done trying to use sex as my weapon. I had already gotten what I wanted; Kate was undeniably in love with me. That weekend, we explored each other's bodies, but I never once pressured or tried to change her mind. Which now, I'm glad I didn't. The weekend ended; I was a little disappointed I didn't get to take her virginity but I was glad that I was able to control myself. I was learning how to be a better monster. A better puppet master. I forgot to mention that I went to Kate's graduation before the summer started. She would be off to college in the fall and that was the whole reason why we jumped at the chance to go away together.

After we got back from our weekend together, Kate spent most of her time packing and getting ready to leave. I spent most of my time with my Cousin and Damien, who finally turned up after running away from the group home he was in. I know a lot of people think they have the greatest mom in the world, but my mom took Damien in and treated him like her own son when he knocked on my door and had nowhere to go. So, my co-ruler was back. My older cousin introduced me to his friends and I almost got to fuck a model. I say almost because she was in her twenties and I had just turned seventeen. I wouldn't have told anyone, because honestly, I get why it's wrong, but at the same time I will forever hate the boys that have sex with older women and go and get caught. Like, dude. What the actual fuck? Have you never seen a teen drama series? You don't rat yourself out. You get that experience boost and then when she starts to feel guilty for deflowering a teenage boy...you go and deflower teenage girls. It didn't happen though. Also, for the best because I didn't want to cheat on Kate. I think what I wanted for that birthday was something akin to what I wanted before Kate. I wanted someone to want me so badly they couldn't control themselves. The model was definitely into me, but even after a night of drinking, she was still able to stay in control of herself.

Remember how I said that Kate is also an artist? Well, for my seventeenth birthday, Kate drew me a homemade birthday card. She also went on a long rant inside about how much she loved me and how much I meant to her. I still have that card in my possession...and every time I read it. I hate who I was just a little more for what he did next. Kate's story isn't quite over. Yet, we are at the end of this part of my life because Kate went off to college and I didn't see her again for years after that. She taught me to be sensual. She taught me to listen. She taught me how to be a better manipulator. Which I'm certain is not what she intended. I think she was the first girl I cared about for more than just her body. 

Maturity requires years of experience and lessons. She was far more mature than I was. Hell, even today if I was to run into her, I'm certain that between the two of us, she'd still be –

The Mature one.