Hidden Emotions|| Harry Potter x reader

Chapter 30

"Hermione," you sobbed, only thinking of how she would feel if she found out. "She... she is my best friend. She was always there and always knew the right things to say. She taught me that I had to embrace who I am. I never understood what she meant because I only ever longed to fit in. But, being with her made me realize that I am enough the way I am."

Your father was smiling tearfully at you. He knew who must be coming next and wanted you to tell him. 

You started to smile weakly as the recollections of Harry went through your mind. You could still feel him hugging you, him blushing whenever you would compliment him, dancing with him... being in his presence. "Harry. He was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. He taught me to see myself who I am and to love it. He taught me that other people can perceive you in so many different ways but it is how you see yourself that matters. He taught me that there are people worth dying for." You started to wipe tears that were building up surprisingly on your eyes. You regained your composure, not wanting to break down in front of your father, you got up. 

"That is why, I want to apologize and thank you. I'm sorry that I was a horrible person with lack of fair judgement. I also want to thank you because I was able to learn so many things and grow myself to the person I am today," you continued, struggling to speak your mind even though your voice was shaking. "I need you to tell me what I need to do... to save you." 

"What?" Your father asked, perplexed at the sudden change of topic. He started to wince as he got up slowly, you helping him with your hand. 

"I know that I am a horcrux," you stated, finally going out of your shock but landing on a wave of fear. "I also know that I will have to die in order for this to be over. So, tell me, please, what do I have to do to save you?"

 He started to shake his head, absolutely refusing to hear what you had to say next. "No, I will not let you do that. There has to be another way... I can't let you die, Y/n," he pleaded, his voice shaky with worry. 

You shook your head and repeated, "What do I have to do to save you?"

"Nothing, right now we have to figure out-"

"There is nothing we can do!" You blurted, feeling all of the emotions bottled up inside you finally reaching its limit.  "All this time I had to watch everyone try and fight for their lives. Watching death and grieving while trying to save themselves. If I have the chance to save someone a bit of trouble, believe me I will do it. Now tell me, father, how are you going to leave?" 

"I can't leave you," he said, trying to meet your gaze but you were staring out the window behind him. The sun has risen, meaning that the war has happened a little too long. 

You looked at his pleading brown eyes and mustered up the strength to say, "It has to be done, dad. If we want to win, there will be sacrifices, whether we like it or not. I am choosing to do this, for everyone." 

Your dad started to sob and between his sobs he stated, "You were... supposed to live a healthy, happy long life... It is not fair... What about your friends?... Harry?" He said, continuing to cry even harder when you physically winced at the sound of his name. A pained expression surfaced on your face. 

You felt your lower lip quiver dangerously close to your sobbing but you inhaled sharply. A sudden idea popped when you saw how many people were running away towards the Black lake, they were disappearing away. Some were hiding, others were casting spells and others were apparating... Apparating. 

"You need to apparate out of here," you ordered, watching his wand still clutched in his hands. "Go to the Black lake because you can't apparate near Hogwarts. Go, now!" 

He shook his head and stopped crying. "No, I don't want to leave you."

"I'm not asking you if you want to or not," you said heatedly, "Dad, we are wasting time! Just go!" 

"I'm not leaving you here, Y/n-"

"Dad, why can't you see that I am trying to save you! You'd die here if you stay any longer!" You shouted, making some of the people around the two of you disperse. "If you leave right now, you will still have a couple of moments left to breathe!" 

"I've spent years trying to get you back, Y/n. I've spent years trying to be able to leave that retched place but I couldn't. I am not letting you die, y/n, I just won't. There is going to have to be another way... There has to be," your father explained, his eyes turning brighter. You thought he would start to argue and continue to say he will stay but... he turned and ran. 

"Where are you going?" You shouted, struggling to keep up as the pain on your side was stabbing you. You placed your written hand over your blood clotting shirt. 

"I have an idea! I need to go! Stay here and don't do anything dangerous!" Your father shouted, turning his head to look at you until he was out of the castle, drowning in the bright sunlight. 

You had to stop from running only when you felt your skin rip again. You tried to calm your stammering heart but it was no use. You were exhausted, the effort of even standing felt so tiring. You eyed the nice floor below you with a longing stare. You just wanted to forget about life for a while, just to be engulfed in the dark for a long time.... You crawled towards the floor, feeling comfort as your body shifted to your knees and elbows. You crawled towards a wall, where it seemed to be strangely vacant and empty. You hid in the shadows of the wall, feeling your sore back hit the wooden piece of wall behind you. You stared out in front of you, looking at people running, screaming, yelling.... Your head seemed to get used to the sound, kind of like how someone gets used to a loud bass music. Figures and shadows blurred in front of you, all running away and becoming smaller and smaller, unlike one... One was becoming increasingly bigger as the ground shook under your legs. They were heading towards you and you let out a yell of fear. 

The figure bent over you and you felt warm hands touching your head. You were curled into a ball, hiding your face on knees because you were petrified to who it was. What if it was another death eater? Bellatrix? What if it was someone who hated you? You placed your hands over your neck, not knowing why but you felt it was safe to do so. The hands stopped tapping you on your head but instead grabbed your hair and tucked it behind your ear. You were startled and you looked up on who could have made such a delicate touch. 

Blue eyes met your gaze. 

"Harry?" You asked.