Swish

.26

The twenty finalists for the showcase wouldn't be posted for another twenty-four hours after the audition, but considering only thirty people actually showed up to sing, I had a good shot at making it...I hoped. 

Bea sang a solo, which received a standing ovation and brought tears to my eyes, whereas Leo and Hazel performed a duet, and I was more than happy to notice their social media status had confirmed their relationship status. 

I only then realized just how absent I'd been in my roommate's lives, I just didn't know how to fix that with everything going on behind the scenes that I didn't know how to explain to them yet. 

My turn to audition had come and gone, and while, like Bea, I'd earned a standing ovation, so did a vast majority of the other candidates, so I wasn't allowing my hopes to grow too large. 

In all truthfulness, when the spotlight had clicked into place, the butterflies in my stomach were nothing compared to the nervousness that I endured barely being in Eli's presence, so dealign with 'stage fright' was a walk in the park. 

My voice hadn't even cracked on the note that I had to practice over and over and over again in my room in order to get my voice to perform the vocal run effortlessly thanks to muscle memory.  Hazel and Bea didn't appreciate the constant onslaught of sudden practice once I'd committed to auditioning for the showcase, but it had clearly paid off. 

It wasn't until the walk back from the auditorium that I fully soaked in the weight of what was happening. 

Earlier, in between classes, I'd begun transferring money to the only checking account in my own name from the account my father sent money to for my monthly food and clothing allowance, something I hadn't touched since I'd acquired my own job.  It was also the account that I deposited my work checks into so that my father couldn't see what I had been making. 

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the familiar vehicles parked in the dorm lot.  I didn't notice the wheelchair accessible van my father couldn't travel without, nor the shiny red Mercedes Sara had been gifted for her sixteenth birthday. 

Dread settled in my gut, however, when I finally noticed the cracked dorm room door and my 'family' chatting and joking along with my roommates who had already made it back from auditions since they'd performed first and I was last. 

I didn't ignore the signs, then, as his loud guffaws reached my ears and my stomach acid bubbled and rose to the surface, my insides threatening to spew all over the laminate flooring of the hallways. 

I had a few options.  I could've escaped and clocked into work wearing formal attire, pretended that I didn't have problems in my life. 

I could've ran to find Eli, had him be my buffer for these crazy people who thought they had a right to intrude on everything I'd created away from them. 

Or, I could've marched myself in there and demanded to know what the hell they were doing at my school without first informing me that they were coming. 

Sara laughed at something my dad said, and when I heard Jared respond, red filled my vision and I swore steam came rolling out of my ears. 

I stormed in, and they were on my bed.  Sara and Jared, just chilling like they owned the damn place. 

"What's going on?"