Prithvi... [Vol 5]

Chapter 138

Or maybe he'd wanted to hurt her badly...to show his anger about their past and also over the fact that her family was on the lookout for grooms for her.

If only...if only...

But his intention had not been either of those things.

He had wanted her to know that she had become unworthy of him...his love. 

Let alone love, she had become unworthy of his respect or consideration or any noble sentiments from him.

But even that hadn't been enough for him. He'd wanted her to know the extent of his disgust for her...his disgust for her as a human being. He'd wanted her to know that she fallen in his eyes to the point where she did not deserve to be spoken to decently...that she no longer deserved to be treated like a normal person by him...

She'd seen that emotion in him before. But it had never been directed at her. It had always been directed towards people whom he'd believed were unfit to be part of the human race. And he'd wanted her to know that, as far as he was concerned, she was part of that group now....to make her understand that the most dominant feeling he had for her was revulsion...

As the night advanced, the devastating awareness of his disgust continued to slice slowly through her, drawing invisible streams of blood with sadistic pleasure...burning slowly through the powerful, life-consuming love and myriad emotions she'd nurtured for him through the years...

And then...sometime in the middle of that long night, a wrath began to grow. 

It wasn't the momentary, fleeting anger that had been a characteristic of her teen self. This was the steady, enduring wrath that had build slowly over the years, and had gradually become a source of boundless strength for her. It had brought her clarity to her thoughts, and a purpose to her actions.

And the more she had harnessed its power, the more it had helped her.

It had given her the power to break the faces and spirits of men who thought women were their playthings.

It had helped her fight nauseatingly orthodox mindsets that didn't believe women had the right to self-respect and dignity, and to make their own decisions. 

And now it was helping her again in the most painful battle of her life.  

She had hoped against hope that she could establish a genial bond with him...something that could have allowed her to witness his life from the periphery.

But for what he had said – and meant - today, there was no forgiveness.

If he had his reasons to feel the way he did, she had her reasons for believing she had taken the right decision.

Maybe he thought she was still the naïve, helpless girl who had endured his nasty, insufferable attitude out of love.

But she was not that person anymore, was she...

He had done more than necessary to help her understand that he had changed over the years.

It was time for her to return the favour.

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Prithvi settled back in the armchair, and gazed up at the night sky. He had not tried to rest in his room because he knew he was not going to get any sleep. The best he could hope for was an hour's nap somewhere close to morning.

And he could vouch for the fact that, in one particular room in Vrindavan, someone else too was facing a disturbed night.

It was strange...the things that could connect two people long after a relationship had died, Prithvi mulled detachedly.