Prithvi... [Vol 5]

Chapter 138

Everyone looked at her doubtfully. 

"What do you mean, Di?" Prakash asked.

"It's good that all of you are going to Ayodhya for dinner, so I can sit here in this room and watch television instead of being banished to my room until all of you finish eating," Nandini said smugly, donning an expression of bliss and interlinking her hands at the heart centre. "I haven't been able to do that on any Saturday night during meal times for years now."

Rajeshwari giggled at her, and her grandfather and brother looked slightly more comfortable and relieved. Nandini noticed that her mother, however, still looked unhappy and troubled. So she devoted some more time to making light of the whole situation until her mother looked less guilty. Then she smoothly shifted the subject to other matters and kept the atmosphere in the house light and funny till her family had left for Ayodhya.

Then she increased the volume of the television to establish a base for her claims, walked to the couch and nearly collapsed, covering her pale face with her hands.

When she had stormed out of Ayodhya and reached the gate between the houses, her legs had frozen. 

Concealing her inner state had become second nature to her long ago. But at that moment, it had felt like an insurmountable task, and she had known that her family would see through her if she walked into the house in that condition.

So, she had darted to the shadows along Ayodhya's wall, and had fought a brutal mental battle to bring back at least enough composure to be able to fool her family. She had remained for some time in the cover offered by the darkness, leaning weakly against the wall and waiting to stop quivering with pain and anger.

And when she had ultimately gained the strength to return to her house, it had been just in time to stop her angry brother from calling up the neighbours and berating them.

After that, she didn't know what she had said or how she had listened to the others without breaking down...

Nandini sat in the living room for as long as she could, and then she dragged herself to her room. She wanted to be in the dark, but the thought of Rajeshwari stopped her from turning off the lights. No normal person who listened to her grandfather's stories would be comfortable on seeing a dark room for some days.

Unrolling the mattress, she lay down on her side and pulled up the blanket to cover almost her entire face.

Nandini kept her eyes closed as she heard Rajeshwari enter the room. She had exhausted her ability to talk for tonight. Thankfully, Rajeshwari did not speak and appeared to retire quietly to the bed.

When the light was switched off, Nandini nearly thanked Rajeshwari. 

She needed the darkness, so she could allow her emotions to emerge on her features without censoring them.

But the absence of light didn't stop her from feeling the merciless, never-ending blows of the humiliating words he had thrown at her casually.

She was not seeking rest tonight because she knew it was going to elude her. She often dealt with nights like these by going to the terrace, even on really cold nights. But she couldn't do that now because she was certain there was someone else on the adjoining terrace, and if she encountered him at this moment...she really didn't know what she would do...

For the first two hours that she lay in the comforting blackness in the room, Nandini tried again and again to look at her conversation with Prithvi through different perspectives...to consider different possibilities...

Maybe he had simply expressed what was on his mind. Maybe he had perhaps become a vile, filthy man with a repulsive mindset in the years that had passed. If that was the case, his repulsive words would have enraged her even more than it had in reality. They would still have pained her but anger would have helped her keep those weak emotions under check. And then she would have dealt with him the way she had handled many other men in the past few years. Regardless of how thick-skinned he still was, she would have made sure he wouldn't have used that kind of language with her again. And perhaps the fury over his revolting mindset would have helped her escape the clutches of love once and for all...