After Forever & Ever

Chapter 115

Hardin-Present

I lied.

I didn't take my meds like I told Tessa when I got home. I feel again for the first time in a while and I guess what I thought I was feeling before was masked by the meds because this is euphoric...

I missed feeling the highs and lows I forgot how much I crave them.

Like today I felt every emotion possible but in it's most heightened way and even the lows felt amazing.

I want that. I want to keep this feeling.

Even having sex with Tessa was so much more intense and satisfying to me...I want more of that.

I know it's dangerous because of my illness but I want to feel something more again.

I end up staying up all night working on a song and I finally fall asleep around 7am. But I am quickly woken up to my phone going off and it's Tessa.
"Hey I'm on my way over I decided to stay one more day." She tells me.

"Okay?." I question slightly confused but respond "see you soon."

I jump in the shower quick and make myself coffee even though I'm pretty awake for only sleeping for maybe a half hour.

15 minutes later Tessa walks in. "Hey babe." She says to me and sits next to me on the couch leaning over for a kiss.

"What made you stay?" I ask her.

"I still am not over my dream and I didn't want to leave you just yet." She replies.

I go in the kitchen and grab her some coffee and hand it to her and sit back on the couch.

"I was going to get another tattoo and probably piercing today." I tell her.

"Really?...of what?" She asks me.

"Honestly I know you won't like it but I wasn't planning on you being here.... I was just going to do it." I tell her.

"Well....what is it?" She asks.

"I want the word peaceful down the side of my neck and I was thinking about a nose piercing." I tell her.

"Hardin no...not on your neck." She says grabbing my neck and turning my head to the side to look at it.

"I mean I already decided I'm going to." I tell her.

"Whatever...." she replies looking away.

"It will be fine if I'm ugly afterwards you don't have to worry about any girls wanting me." I reply jokingly. Pulling her in closer to me.

"You're so annoying." She says pushing me away.

"Let's make another baby." I say to her.

"Hardin stop." I reply.

"No I'm serious...why not?" I ask her.

"Why don't we wait until we are both living in the same place and you are done with your program...and maybe I have a ring on my finger." She replies.

"We could get married right now." I respond.

"Seriously, stop." She says pushing me away.

"You don't want to?" I question.

"Of course I do....but not like this." She replies.

"Come on let's just get married and then make a baby." I say pulling her on top of me so her legs are around me.

"Why all of a sudden?" She asks me.

"It's not all of a sudden I love you and I want to be with you forever and we make pretty babies." I tell her.