Penny For Your Thoughts

1: Road Trips and Relationships

I shivered in my thin jacket, a breeze seeming to pass right through me. I usually wore thicker jackets or sweatshirts from my boyfriend, but that wasn't really any option anymore. Gosh, I don't even want to give him another thought. He doesn't deserve it. I tried to avoid his gaze but in the corner of my eye I could still see him smiling and laughing like we used to, only I was now replaced with my other half, the best friend I thought I could count on. At the sight of her smile, her face free of guilt, the air seemed to turn colder.

I turned my gaze back to the bus, steaming and buzzing with energy to begin our long journey from my dusty, dead town in Portland, Minnesota. It seemed to represent all the hope I had of a better tomorrow in D.C., though that was probably just wishful thinking. I stepped up onto the bus, feeling the warmth of the blasting heaters engulf me. Some of my peers, already seated, looked dazedly out the window onto the drenched sidewalk with tired eyes.

I'd admit, I was tired too, but not for the same reasons they were. My eyes were dry and puffy and I could still feel the tear streaks down my cheeks, though they had blended in with the raindrops.

I walked to the farthest seat in the back of the bus, where most kids who didn't want to be disturbed lurked, and where I seemed to fit in. I sat down, the chair was uncomfy and cold from not having been used. I rested my head on the window, my breath fogging up a bit of the glass. I tried to close my eyes, longing for my dreams to take me out of this cruel reality, but with other students filing in, I found it hard to relax. The endless mix of tired and energetic voices in anticipation for the trip ahead seemed to muddle my thoughts, however I tried not to let it get to me.

Filing onto the bus seemed to take forever, but finally, I heard the subtle creak of the doors swinging closed. A teacher stood and I opened my eyes, anticipating attendance. She held a clipboard in hand, studying it with a pen tapping at her thin lips. Her serious and tired expression seemed to leak into her voice as she spoke.

"Justin Anslow."

"Here!" The large boy in front practically shouted, causing me to cover my ears in annoyance as the teacher, Ms. Smith, continued.

"Wyatt Carter."

"Uh... Present?" My newly ex-boyfriend says, smirking at the girl sitting next to him. I rolled my eyes. Ms. Smith read down the list, each name causing her voice to grow more monotone. Finally, after zoning out, I finally heard my name.

"Wren Harrison?"

"Here." I sighed out, hoping she heard me so I wouldn't have to repeat myself. She moved on, thankfully.

"Jenna Johnson." The name almost caused me to bristle, but I tried not to care as I rested my head back on the window, ignoring the sudden flashbacks of our history.

Ms. Smith finished reading off the long list of names and sat back down as the bus jolted forward, my head smacking the glass violently. I cupped my head and winced, hearing instant groans from others around me, and someone cussing the bus driver out. I think the bus driver said something, but it was drowned out by the screech of the engine. I reached below my seat to retrieve my bag, opening it up in search for some ibuprofen, but all that greeted me were a pair of headphones, a charger, and a bag of pretzels. I leaned my head against the seat in frustration, covering my face with my hands. This would be a long drive.

--

A few hours later, we arrived at our first rest stop. The sunrise showed through the bright green trees, a welcome sight compared to the sparse streetlights we'd passed. When we all got off the bus, the air felt brisk and cool and the dew shined on the grass and bushes. I breathed a sigh of relief and stretched out my stiff arms and legs, shaking them awake.

We all filed into the rest stop, noticing the large array of food courts and tables that appeared picked through and almost empty, but I noticed a new bag of pretzels in one of the nearby vending machines. I practically flew over to it, my tired legs groaning in protest, and shoved my money into the machine. Wiggling my knees in anticipation, the pretzels twisted and moved with the spring, but after a moment got stuck and the machine stopped in an awkward silence. I simply stared in disbelief, unbelieving of my luck.

"What the fuck."

I felt like crying as I stared at the unmoving pretzel bag, deadpanning and zoning out, rethinking all of my life choices. I would have gone for my purse again, but I remembered I left the rest on the bus and so I simply turned around, moping and sitting over at a nearby table. I plucked out my phone from my pocket and scrolled through Instagram, pretending to do something so that I didn't look like a pathetic loser sitting alone. My stomach grumbled as a reminder of my terrible fortune, and I tried to ignore it as best I could.

In the corner of my eye I spotted Wyatt sit down with Jen and a few of his other friends, all laughing and pointing at one of the stands. Jen glanced at me from time to time, and the pity in her eyes infuriated me. She has no right to be pitiful, she was the reason this whole mess happened. I ignored her and continued scrolling through my phone when I heard a sound behind me, the vending machine.

Looking back, I saw Justin giving money into the machine, and I was about to go warn him when the money was sucked in, and a Dorito bag fell. At the force, the pretzel bag fell as well, and I inhaled so fast that I became lightheaded, frustration tempting me to punch him in the nose as he yelled out "Free pretzels. Hell yeah man!" However, I buried the temptation and stormed out to the bus.

The bus doors didn't open quite yet, but I simply stared bluntly up at the bus driver, and with a shiver, they let me in. I wobbled my way back to my seat, careful not to rest my head on the window again. I leaned back as much as I could and sighed.

Guess I'm going hungry. Finally, after ten excruciating minutes, everyone filed back onto the bus, slightly more energized than before. I knew it wouldn't be long before we would have to take another bathroom break, but for now I could rest peacefully, hoping to maintain what little dignity I had left.

The bus jolted once more, and the nearby seats filled with groans and complaints and I smiled to myself. If I am anything, I am a girl who learns from her mistakes.