Forbidden Feelings

Chips on the Sea Front

"How about like this?" he says, and then kisses me again. I pull away instantly. 

"Steve Rogers, are you saying that you were only being nice to me so you can kiss me?" I exclaim, annoyed. 

"What? No! I thought you enjoyed the kiss earlier!" 

"Maybe I did, but doesn't mean that my kisses are payment! Is that really why you're being so nice to me, Rogers? So that I'll kiss you and leave Bruce?" 

"That's a lie and you know it, Romanoff," he says. I grab my jacket from the back of the chair and put my shoes on. 

"I'm going out, I'll see you later," I say.

"Don't die," he says, and then I leave the room, not even bothering to shut the door behind me because I know if I do. I don't know where I'm going, maybe I'll explore the town for a bit, see what small shops there are. Sometimes it's nice to get a souvenir from a mission, especially one like this. But who does Steve think he is, saying I can repay him with kisses? I'm not some sort of toy!I leave the hotel and start walking out of the entrance to it and down the street, towards the sounds of cars and buses and people. Nobody will recognise me here, it's just a small seaside village on the coast of England. Even so, I tie my hair up into two plaits and put on acap just in case. Then I start to browse around the shops, seeing what uselessjunk they sell.Ooo wait, this one sells fudge. I go in. 

"Ello there, what can I get for ew today?" says a man with a strong accent. 

"Hi, whatever's popular really," I say. 

"Ooo, would ew look at tha," he says. He doesn't pronounce the 't' on the end. "Mary! Look,this ones from the States!" 

"Just get her some fudge, Derek!" A voice shouts through. 

Derek picks up a bag of fudgeand says, "You'll loik this one, it's clotted cream." He doesn't pronounce the letters 't' clottedeither. I'll need to get used to this accent if I'm to stay here any longer. 

"Thank you. How much?" I ask. 

"Ow only two pound fiffy," he says. I think he means two pounds and fifty pence. I'll have toget used to this currency, too. I hand him the money, take the fudge, and leave. I pop apiece in my mouth as I walk down to where I can hear the sea and the flavour bursts out.This is amazing. I'll have to save some for Steve, he wouldn't want to miss out on this. Thesmell of something else fills my nose and I follow the scent to a shop that's sign says in bigblack letters, "Betty's Chippy, only the best!" It smells amazing and so I take a look at themenu. It seems to be just chips with everything: sausage and chips, fish and chips, batteredsausage, battered fish, pie and chips, and even just chips alone. 

I purchase a small portion of fish and chips and then walk along the sea front for a bit, the spray from the crashing waves dampening my hair. I sit on the side of a wall and eat my chips with the small wooden fork that came with them. I could get used to these. Some birds try to come and take one but I scare them away with my cap. The wind blows in my face, but I like the saltiness of the air here, the cold breeze washing over me; it makes a nice change from the blazing sun back at the Tower. 

What should I do about the operation? This - opportunity - might only crop up once in my life, but should I take it? Do I want the ability to have a family? Maybe one day, but could I ever get close enough to someone? But then, having the operation doesn't mean I have to have a family. I could have it and just stay alone. What's the worst that could happen? 'I could end up pregnant and have to raise a child alone, abandon my job as an Avenger, and move out of the Tower,' my mind says to me. I guess that is the truth though. Oh, what to do? I don't want to regret it, but then perhaps it's the best opportunity I'll ever have. And what if I do want a family, later in life? I won't be an Avenger forever. Yes, maybe I will have it. But making sure Bruce isn't there, obviously; I don't want him operating on my private parts. The thought of it makes me feel sick and my stomach suddenly decides it doesn't want the rest of my chips. I set them down beside me and then get my phone out to call Bruce. 

 "What is it now?" 

"I'll do it," I say into the phone. 

"You sure?" 

"Yes. Get it ready for after this mission, before I change my mind. Oh, and please could you not be there?" 

"Whatever you need." 

"Thanks Bruce. Bye." I hang up. 

Well, it's done now, there's no going back. Suddenly the chip box is taken from beside me and I turn around fast, ready in case it's some stranger trying to kidnap me. 

"Woah, Romanoff. Chill, it's only me," Steve says. I see he's also wearing a cap and ahoodie; whether the cap is a pun I don't know. 

"How long have you been standing there?" 

"Long enough to know that you're having the op," Steve says. Damn, I need to practice sensing when there's someone behind me a lot more. 

"I think you made the right decision." 

"You do?" 

"Yeah." 

"Oh, I bought this fudge. Do you want some? It's heavenly," I say, offering him some from the bag. 

"I'm okay thanks, maybe later though," he says, coming to stand beside me. I get up from where I'm sitting and stand on the wall next to him, looking down at the waves crashing on to the boulders below us. 

"Are we good now?" I say.

"Yeah. But, we need to sort something out. Are we...together, or just something?" 

"Something," I reply. "Less than together, more than apart." 

"That's a nice way of putting it," he says. "Now let me try some of that fudge. I can smell it from here," he says, so I hand some to him. 

"Oh Nat, this is amazing." 

"Told you." 

"Also, the sea spray is nice, but I'm pretty sure it's actually raining now," he says, and as if on cue what started as a drizzle starts coming down in sheets, drenching us. Dumping the chips in a bin, we run back to the hotel, and by the time we get there there's water in my shoes and you could wring us out. We go back to the room. 

"Well that was eventful," he says. "Got any more of that fudge?" 

"Yeah - Oh wait, there's a message from Fury," I say. I click the answer phone button and letit play.

Author's Note: Just a quick note to say I hope your enjoying the story so far! Things are heating up between them, any ideas of what will happen comment! And drop a vote if you like it. Thanks for reading :D