Fragile

Chapter 11

I came home to a silent house. It was unnerving really, as I was used to Kyson's loud demeanor. I sighed, and walked over to the brown sofa. I plopped down ungracefully and dialed the familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Ky, how's your apartment? How are you? Are you lonely? I'm lonely. It's just so quiet.. I bet it's quiet there too. Anyways, just calling to check in because I miss-"

"Adds. Yes I'm fine. And yes it's lonely, but you know, your dad did kick me out of your apartment." Kyson responded gruffly.

"Whoa buddy, don't take it out on me. I'm just calling to say hi." I said frowning.

He replied swiftly saying, "I know, I know. But I am kinda busy, so I'll talk to you later. Yeah?"

My forehead creased with hurt as I realized Kyson was brushing me off. I sighed before hastily hanging up the phone.

It had only been three days since my dad had left for Florida. His departure was short and quiet and now I regret not hugging him as he left.

Of the many holes currently eating my heart, the largest has to be Kyson. I was just so used to having him around and now I fully appreciate him. I missed his stupid over-protectiveness, his pancake breakfasts, and his mischievous smile.

If yall hadn't kissed, none of this would be happening.

Sometimes I want to kill my subconscious self. Even though it was completely right, and at this point I'm not even sure if I really think the kiss was worth it all.

I turned on the tv, and immediately went to last night's showing of The Bachelor. I sat there, not even paying attention to the show as my thoughts drifted to the day at the library, as my thoughts had every day since.

Ashton had sat there with such an intent, almost happy look in his eyes. He seemed so sincere in everything he did. He was a gentleman, even if he didn't know it yet. I just can't seem to get over this weird fascination I have with him. I want him to be my friend, but more than that; I want him to consider me his friend.

The way his hazel eyes never wavered from mine as I told him things he hasn't asked to hear, his dimple that showed only whenever he gave a rare smile or laugh. His tan skin that accentuated his sandy blonde hair...

I caught myself. What was I becoming? Constantly thinking about a guy I've only talked to twice? This was so unlike me. And creepy, to say the least.

I had never been interested in boys, and for good reason. I'm royally screwed forever because of it, my dad is royally screwed because of it, and now I've ruined a friendship over a stupid kiss.

I made myself clear my head of these thoughts. The only way to achieve that was to read. So naturally, I had to go to the library, right? Of course I did. I definitely don't own books.

After pausing The Bachelor, I walked two blocks to the library, and stepped in confidently. I was greeted by the usual scent and my stomach knotted as images of Ashton flooded my mind. My breathing quickened and I ran back outside.

"Adda. Calm down! This is no big deal! You and this geek aren't even friends. He's a jerk, remember? It's no big deal, it's no big deal.." I whisper-chant to myself as I lean against the red brick of the library. I was no doubt earning looks from the public, but at this point I could care less.

I took a breath and pushed the wood doors open once again.

I was greeted with a brick wall of a person. I'm not sure why this happens to me so frequently. It's like I'm the underdog in some stupid book.