love letters ~k.akaashi~

~nineteen~

you didn't expect bokuto to retain that much, you knew he could retain some information. he was captain for a reason, but you just didn't know how much. apparently, it's more than you thought.

"...well then. i guess this makes my storytelling a little easier for me." so you ended up telling bokuto everything that had happened in the past two months.

the mystery sender of the letters, the backstory of the letters, the whole kenma-akaashi debacle at the park when they had their practice match, the talk you had with akaashi in that café, and then your final decision.

"if you didn't look so serious and you weren't telling me this at 1 in the morning, i'd assume you were lying. but i can tell you're serious about it. so what's the issue here?"

"well...one of the rules i subconsciously made when we made that contract thi—" bokuto interrupted you mid sentence.

"wait wait wait, you and akaashi made a contract? f/n what the fuck? was it akaashi's idea? i bet it was his."

"actually no, it was mine. can we get back to my story please?" bokuto gestured you to continue after he got his giggles to a silence.

"so i told myself, i wouldn't catch feelings for him. i knew that after we 'break up' it'll go back to how it used it to be."

"and how it used to be was you and him never acknowledging each other? and you'd quit your manager position?" bokuto asked you, even though he already knew your answer. your nodding confirmed his thoughts.

"look it's just...i've been spending all this time with him. he walks me home, he walks me to school, we hang out like every week, i've met his parents and i absolutely adore them, he's been over my house, he's met my sister and my parents, and i just UGH!" you let out a scream as you buried your face in your hands. bokuto awkwardly rubbed your back.

you sat up straight, taking your hands off your face. "okay, i'm good now. that felt kinda good."

"you want to tell me more about this?"

you nodded and proceeded to speak. "well, there was the time when it was raining and he put his umbrella over us since i didn't have one. and then i got sick because i ran in the rain and he took care of me after school. and when he calmed me down by holding my hand when he met my parents." you kept telling these moments to bokuto.

you didn't notice that when you spoke of these moments, you had a love struck expression on your face. bokuto could practically see hearts in your eyes and an aura of pink flowers around you as you told him of those sweet little moments you and akaashi had.

"hey f/n," bokuto interrupted you as you started to tell him about how you two went stargazing at midnight. "this may not help you, like at all, but i'm like 99% sure you have feelings for akaashi."

sure, you knew you had some form of feelings for akaashi. you just thought it was because of how he was treating you.

with the way akaashi treated you, anyone would've gotten flustered. that's what you thought it was anyway. a small part of you knew you had feelings for him, but you ignored it.

"...no, no, nope, no, no. i don't have feelings for keiji. i don't, it has to be something else." you full out denied it. but bokuto saw right through you.

"f/n, if you're denying it this much, then lord, do i have some news for you." he patted your shoulder as you ,once again, buried your face in your hands and let out a small scream.

"okay, i think i have an idea that'll help you out. come on." bokuto got up from his seat and held his hand out towards you.

you grabbed his hand and he started walking, with you in tow. he stopped walking when you two had reached a bridge.

"why exactly are we at a bridge?"

"well my dear f/n, you seem to be screaming a lot and you need this. i do this a lot actually."

you still didn't understand the purpose of you two being at a bridge in the dead of night.

"do what exactly?"

"whenever i get stressed out about something or just simply need to scream, i come here and i just scream my worries out. it's oddly therapeutic. try it." bokuto ran to the other side of the sidewalk you two were on.

"can you hear me!" you yelled out to him. bokuto shook his head no.

"if you want! i can go first!" you nodded your head and bokuto gave you smile with two thumbs up.

"FUCK! I HATE BEING A THIRD YEAR!" you could barely hear him, but you could still make out some of the words he was saying.

"I WISH I HAD MORE TIME TO PLAY WITH MY TEAM! THEY'RE THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME! AND I REALLY WANT TO WIN NATIONALS FOR THEM AND MYSELF!"

your eyes widened at the amount of sentiment that came from bokuto. obviously, you knew bokuto cared for his team. you just didn't know what the extent of his love for his team was.

"f/n! your turn! just face the water and scream your heart out!"

from what you saw, you didn't need to do much thinking. it was the first thing that came to your mind.

the first thing that came to your mind? well, it was none other than akaashi keiji, yet your scream contained mixed feelings.

"FUCK YOU AKAASHI KEIJI! FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THIS!" bokuto's eyes widened as soon as you started screaming.

"I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I COULD FEEL THIS WAY! I REALLY LIKE YOU! LIKE A LOT! AND IT SUCKS! BECAUSE THIS IS DEEPER THAN WHAT I FELT WHEN I WROTE THOSE STUPID FUCKING LETTERS!" your throat started to burn from all the yelling, yet you weren't finished yet.

"I'M NOT READY TO LET YOU GO YET! I LIKE HAVING YOU IN MY LIFE AGAIN!" that's when you stopped. it was a repressed feeling you didn't like having. 

you weren't ready for things to go back to normal, you weren't ready to let akaashi go, you weren't ready to the face the inevitable result of this "relationship".

you clenched your fists, your fingernails making tiny crescents on the palms of your hand as you took deep breaths. then you felt two buff arms around you.

"i'm so proud of you f/n! you did it!" bokuto yelled out, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. a smile appeared on your face as you started laughing.

"feeling better?" bokuto asked you as you started walking the way back to your place.

"yeah, i actually do. thanks for this bo, it means a lot really." bokuto gave you a big smile and he walked with you the rest of the way back to your house. you told him to not worry about it but he insisted on it.

he only left when he saw you climb back into your room, safely. he gave you a wave and whispered-yelled goodbye to you and started walking back to his house.

that night you slept better than other nights, some form of stress being relieved off of your shoulders.

all you had to do was figure out what you wanted to do with those feelings you harbored for akaashi.

a/n: THANK YOU FOR 2K READS! UPDATES ARE SLOWER CAUSE I DO WRITE A LOT I LOVE AND APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU 💘💕💞💓💗💗💓💞💕💘