𝔹𝕠𝕣𝕟 𝕥𝕠 𝕃𝕠𝕤𝕖 | Tommy Shelby

𝕏𝕀𝕀. ʙᴏʀɴ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏsᴇ

The memory of Ben caused Ada to escape an anguished sob. I remembered what Thomas had told me a couple of weeks ago: 'Ben Younger died because of me'.

"I wouldn't have walked away from you", I said, wanting to calm her down. I tried to stand up but was too dizzy. "I know the woman you are and the story of your family would never have changed that concept".

"Well, I wish it does now". Ada shrugged dejectedly. "Only then can I get you far enough away to make sure you're not in danger. I'm tired of losing people I love because of the Peaky Blinders". It was the first time I had heard the name of the band although, since I arrived in Birmingham, I had always heard someone mutter those two words when I was walking down the street with Ada. "All the Shelbys have lost someone, without exception, either physically or because sooner or later, they get fed up: Polly lost who would be her husband. Arthur, to his wife, who divorced him. Thomas was widowed, I lost Ben, John was murdered..."

"John was murdered?" I interrupted, disturbed by what I had suddenly heard.

"Yes, Olivia, he was murdered. He didn't die when he fell off the horse as I told you at the time. The fucking italian mafia killed him". Ada confessed in anger and pain. "They shot him in his own house, in front of his wife and without thinking about it, as if he were a simple piece of meat".

I didn't know what to say when my friend started crying again. I understood why Ada had been so reluctant to accompany her to John's funeral when this had happened. I was aware that her motives transcended me and that I would never fully understand how murky life could be in such an environment.

I gulped and wanted to stand up once more. I needed to hug her and ask her forgiveness, but my numb legs didn't allow it and I fell to the floor.

"Olivia!" My friend, alarmed, came over and led me to bed again. As I did so, I hugged her tightly and she responded to the hug. "Okay, okay", she comforted me as I too had started crying. "You're right. If I had told you the truth from the beginning, we would be saving all this but it is that by bringing you to Birmingham to help you with your career, I never imagined that you would end up falling in love with my brother. Thomas is the complete opposite of what always attracted you in a man, why him?". Ada pulled away from me and searched my face for an answer.

"He's the complete opposite of what Andrew was and that's enough for me", I admitted. "Thomas is sincere, and I know that if he falls in love with me, I see him incapable of hurting me".

"Tom can hurt you in other ways", Ada said. "You see what happened before yesterday. The trouble he gets into and the people he surrounds himself with make him more dangerous than a cheating man".

"I can help him".

"Help him with what?" My friend scrutinized me with her eyes.

"I can help him to change".

My friend gave a laugh that, in conjunction with her watery eyes, made her look strange.

"He's forty years old, Olivia. Tommy has been behaving like this for a long time and has a character that is degenerating more and more. Even Grace couldn't change him, and you intend to do it?", asked Ada.

"You say he's been behaving like this for a long time. That means he wasn't born being what he is now", I observed.

"No, he wasn't born being what he is now. Before France, Tom was someone else". I watched her raise the corners in a sad smile. "Before France, we were all different".

"Let me try, Ada". For some reason, I was asking her permission. "Let me make him the man he was before the war. In his eyes I still see humanity, he's not completely lost, and something tells me that Thomas hates what he has become. I know you don't understand". I felt faint and lay back on the bed. "... but for me it's as if he's crying out for help".