Harry Potter and the Reluctant Rebirth

Chapter 1

I waited until he ran by the cupboard, disappointed that he couldn't shove me back in.

'Not today porkers...'

Entering the dining room I was instantly thrown into the kitchen to resume cooking. Dudley's birthday... gotta make little Dudders' special day be super awesome! Sarcasm aside, I was pretty good at making food, though I never got to eat it fresh.

"Hurry up! Bring my coffee, boy!" Vernon ushered me to hurry my skinny butt over there with the pot of coffee. "And where's my breakfast?"

"Right here, Uncle Vernon." I placed his plate of bacon and eggs before pouring his coffee in a dramatic fashion that always irritated him. "Cream and sugar?"

Yes... feed into your obesity, let your heart soar with the fatty richness that is your breakfast.

"No, I'm cutting back on the stuff. Nasty to my health." And yet you are eating some of the fattiest foods outside of America. I held my tongue and instead focused on serving breakfast, that is until Dudley saw his presents.

"How many are there?" Here we go again...

"36, counted them myself."

You should have lied.

"36!? BUT LAST YEAR I HAD 37!"

I forced myself to tune out this conversation. Funny how after a while the yelling just becomes white noise. I only tuned back in once I felt Dudley's rage subside and I quickly got my Aunt's attention. "Aunt Petunia?"

"What do you want?" She glared down at me as if I committed a sin by existing on her precious son's birthday. Sorry lady, you should have given me to literally anyone else but you're scared of Dumbledore.

"May I go wash my face?" There was a pregnant pause. "If I'm going with you to the zoo, wouldn't it be best that I look presentable to the public? I wouldn't want to harm your reputations..." Ah yes, mention their reputation and they let me do more things than normal. It pays to have the mind of an adult sometimes.

"Well I- after we eat and I am going to watch you clean your face... in the kitchen sink."

Right, she would never let me use the bathroom sinks for that. At least she doesn't stop me from taking baths, just as long as I don't use their "expensive" hair products. Pfff, expensive, that's a funny way to describe the products considering I help Petunia with shopping.

Trying not to smirk in victory I return to my cupboard while the zoo animals- I mean family eats. On the way, I swiped a piece of bacon on the way. Like hell, I was going to go to the zoo without something in my stomach, and I dare them to hit me for it. I know that all it will take is a well-timed fall to force the people at Hogwarts to step in... I should have done that years ago.

Once they finished eating and I did the dishes until they were sparkling. I was given a minute to scrub my face raw before I had to put on my shoes and was pushed into the car next to Dudley.

"I want to see all the big animals!" Dudley slammed his fist into my arm to prove his point. "And you better not get in my way today!"

I held back a roll of my eye. "Whatever you say..." I pinch a lock of my hair and examined it with deep thought. My hair and my eyes were my proudest features, even if my hair was untamable. "Hm..."

"Whatever you are thinking boy, you better quit it," Vernon growled like a threatened dog.

"I was just thinking that I should let my hair grow out," I say dreamily. It's a messy jumbled pincushion anyway, might as well see what it looks like after a few years away from scissors. Hmm... maybe past the shoulder? Trim the bangs to be cute and pointy and tie it all back in a low pony? I can always cut it later if it looks weird. Maybe get a ribbon for it too.