What about our garden? (Tsukkiyama angst)

hospital flowers--10

how was daichi supposed to respond. he knew it was good for tsukki to have an outburst like this, he knew it was good for him to let this out. he wanted to let him have these moments to actually vent and speak his mind. 

"i know tsukishima. i know. let it out." there was nothing more he could say. words wouldn't be able to comfort the other, he knew that. nothing he says is going to come close to what the other needed to hear. kei needed to hear that yams would be okay,that's the only thing that would make him feel better. 

"why does he have to leave me?"

"why can't he just stay?"

"why not for me?" kei's speech had to come in separate loads now, he was almost choking on his tears so speech was difficult.

"the world doesn't work like that kei."

"can we please just drive. i need to set this up." after a few minutes kei had stopped crying and seemed to have calmed down.

"y-yeah."

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"h-hey yams!" suga entered yamiguichi's ugly hospital room. the rooms in hospitals are exactly what you would think; bleached white walls, constant florescent lighting, a clean smell that always followed you. that disgusting hospital smell always clung to clothing to constantly remind you of what you'd just seen, who you had just left in the ugly rooms.

"y-yams?" suga wasn't used to being here without kei, so he wasn't always sure when the other was awake or asleep. just like anyone in his position would, he glanced over at the heart monitor. he hadn't heard any alarm, he knew the other was still here, he just had to check.

"your'e still here." suga didn't know why he was even speaking, the other was probably asleep; not that suga would be able to tell if he was awake or not.

"i think i might read and maybe do some studying today,yams. so i'm sorry that i'm probably gonna be really boring today." a slightly awkward laugh left the males mouth.

normally, suga would tell yams stories or they'd listen to music. suga had a test tomorrow though, so he had to study.

there wasn't even a slight movement to suggest that yams was listening, suga could only believe the other was asleep, there was nothing else that made sense. he settled down in the uncomfortable, white hospital chair. all he could do now was wait for tsukishima to get back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tsukki finished laying down the last flower. it truly was beautiful. yellows,pinks,reds every colour was spread across the floor. he grasped a singular sunflower in his, ever so slightly shaky, hands. this wasn't a flowerfield,not even close to one, but it was as much as he could do. this way yams could see the flowers, and be warm. for the first time in awhile, a genuine smile spread across the blondes face. tadashi would love this.

yams was sleeping, no one else would know this, but kei did. yams shoulders were relaxed, there wasn't a crease between the boys brows either. there was always an ever so slight crease between his brows when he was awake. he was in pain, this showed it. it made kei feel so selfish wanting the other to stay, he was in pain but tsukki still wanted him to stay. he still needed tadashi to stay.

kei gently sunk down into the bed. "hello my love." a hand gently made its way to yams soft,olive hair.

the ever so slight crease was apparent now, he even managed to somewhat open his eyes.

"look." kei put a hand behind the weakers back and pulled him into his lap, being extra careful of the countless tubes and wires.

the boys green eyes widened as soon as his eyes caught a glimpse of all the beautiful flowers.