My Bully, My Love

Chapter 3

   She's left to stew, thinking about what just happened for another 10 minutes, before she hears the screeching sound of the bell ringing, letting her know she should start getting to class. However, she makes her way there slowly, still thinking about it, probably for the rest of the day.

   Sam walked through her front door, setting her stuff down and taking her shoes off. She checks her phone, no texts or calls from Jessi, nothing. She goes to the couch, and plops herself on her back, staring at the ceiling. She doesn't focus on anything, every once in awhile hearing Jessi's pained and angry voice scream at her, how her face changed so quickly from one emotion to the other.

   She doesn't notice, what's going on around her, or hear anything. It takes her mother shaking her shoulder to take her out of it. She looks over to see a concerned look on her mother's face.

"Sam, are you okay?" Sam then sits up to look at her better.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Because you didn't reply when I called your name three times... what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Sweetie, I'm not dumb, you think I don't know when you're not all there?" Sam stares at her mother for a few seconds before letting out a sigh, straightening herself on the couch, feet on the floor. Her mother sees this as an invitation to sit next to her, which she does, but keeps looking at Sam with a concerned look.

"Mom...something happened at school today. I don't know if I should talk about it though. My feelings are a bit...conflicted on it."

"What do you mean?" There's a good stretch of silence, waiting for her daughter to speak.

"Jessi was crying today."

"Well, that's awful sweetie, but do you know why?"

"No, I don't. I was sitting in the bathroom, peeing, I go to get up and I hear a loud slam. It was the door being slammed open, and Jessi came barging in, but I didn't know it was her till I left the stall. I stood there for 2 minutes, listening to her pained cries as I decided if I should just leave or wait till she left to leave." Her mother put a hand on her leg, rubbing it slightly to comfort her. "I decided to try to leave. And when I saw it was her I froze. She noticed though that someone was in there with her. So she turned around.. and.... I've never seen so much pain in her face. But in an instant it changed to anger, and she yelled at me to get out.... so I did."

"Baby, why didn't you try and help? You're friends." Silence stretches again.

"Mom.... we're not friends." Sam says as she finally looks her mother in the eyes. Confusion washes over her mother's face. "She steals my lunch, she has me do stupid tasks. Remember when she came over? It was so I could do the homework, and she would take it and turn it in for herself. Do you know why I do the tasks though? Why I had no choice to give her the homework? Because she blackmailed me..... she knows about me, what I have, and she's holding it against me to do what she wants." She just sees her mother's face stare at her. Her face not changing, she seems to be thinking about what she just told her.

   "She hasn't changed much. So when I found out it was her that was crying, after I left, I couldn't stop thinking about it." Tears start to well up in Sam's eyes. "I felt sad for her, I felt sorry, even though I didn't know what is was she was crying over, but I knew that not even she deserves to feel like that. But, I always thought that when I would finally hear her cry, that I would be happy, that I would relish in it. That she finally feels what it's like to be me." A tear starts to fall down Sam's cheek. "Why would I think that Mom? Why would I want that? What kind of person does that make me? To have wanted to be happy, hearing her cry, scream in pain and anguish? It's a horrible thing to want. *sob* I'm a horrible person." Tears start to fall faster, but her mother breaking free from her trance, pulls her daughter into a hugging embrace, caressing her head and back.

"No, no, don't ever think that. You are not a bad person. You never have been, nor ever will be. You're an amazing person, you're sweet and kind. I agree with you, that no matter what she's done, she doesn't deserve to feel that way. Nobody does." She continues to console her, Sam crying for a good few minutes. Her mother doing the best she can to help, which at the moment is what she's been doing, letting her let it out. Soon though, Sam stops crying and pulls back from the embrace. She looks at her mother, then at the floor.

"Sorry I got your shoulder wet. *sniff*" Her mother looks at her shoulder then back at Sam.

"You think tears are the only thing you've wettened my shoulder up with?" Her mother says with a smile, trying to cheer her up.

"Wow Mom, really?" Sam says with a laugh, giving a smile, something her mother never gets tired of seeing on her daughter's face.

"Sam sweetie. At some point, you need to go talk to her."

"But Mom-"

"Not tonight. Not tomorrow, not even the next day. Give her some time, with whatever it is, before going to talk to her." Sam looks at her mother, then again looking at the floor, thinking. She knew she was right though.

"OK...I will....I promise."

"She may not have done many good things. But all of that gets thrown out the window when it comes to this." Her mother says to her. She then grabs Sam's hand and holds it in her own. Looking at them, then looking at her mother's face, seeing the same, loving expression she sees 90% of the time, can't help but get another smile from Sam. She leans forward, bringing her mother into a hug, then leaning back and standing up.

"I'm... going to go up in my room for a bit... is that ok?" She says to her mom.

"Of course." She replies. She gives her mother another smile before going upstairs, leaving her mother to sit on the couch. She goes up to her room, pulling her phone out as she closes her door. She stares at her phone, waiting for a text. After a few minutes of waiting, still nothing. And then she does something she honestly thought she'd never do... she texts first.

'Hey' She sends. To her disappointment, even an hour after sending it, no reply. She can tell Jessi hasn't even looked at the message. Either she hasn't seen it, or she's ignoring her. But Sam can't be mad at her.

   Whatever it was, it sounded devastating. So she understands if Jessi doesn't want to talk immediately, if at all really. She wonders if she'll see her at school tomorrow. Or the next day, even the next.

   She checks her phone again... nothing still. She sets her phone down on her nightstand, plugging it in to charge it. Nothing beats a bit of familiarity, as again she stares up, watching her ceiling fan spin, feeling a gust of cool air blow across her face here and there.

   A bit impatient, she grabs her phone again, checking the message. At first nothing, but then she sees the typing bubble appear, indicating that Jessi sees it. She waits for a reply, and waits... but nothing.

   After a minute, the bubble disappears, no reply. She sets the phone down on her chest, a sigh of disappointment. Was it worse for her to not see it at all? Or to see and not reply? The debate ran through her mind for a long while. What felt like 5 minutes, turned out to be an hour, as she hears a knocking at her door.

"Sweetie, it's dinner time." She hears her mother call from the other side of the door. She sets her phone to the side.

"Ok, be right down." She replies. She gets up and goes to the door, before she leaves she glances back at her phone for a few seconds, before dipping her head a bit in thought. But then she opens her door, and exits her room to join her mother downstairs.