after the end - timothée chalamet & marcus baker

07

i didn't want to love anyone as i much as i loved griffin, my dead boyfriend. because every time i did; they died. i didn't want to love someone as much as i loved my parents.

gone. all of them.

riley has been through enough, i didn't want to add on. i knew that feeling. and it wasn't a good one. she's a kid, she shouldn't need to witness any of this or feeling something this painful to the heart.

it ruins a person.

"she's not losing us." he says. "i won't let it happen." he looks me in the eyes, our chairs still slightly close together because of riley.

i look away, staring at nothing. "but we don't know that—anything can happen timothée."

"fate. i know that." he says. "whatever happens, i want her to at least be happy. we shouldn't distances ourselves from her. she's a child."
"we're all she got."

"you're right." i mumbled.

he looks over at the television while talking to me. "she reminds me a lot of my sister." a smile slowly faded from his face.

"how is your sister like." i gave a faint smile, invested to hear.

"she was around her age, as small as she was. she never feared. ever. just like riley." he smiled, thinking back on the moment.

"that's adorable." i say.

this was the one time where timothée and i had a regular conversation, where we didn't argue. rare.

marcus goes to sit beside me, biting into an apple. "morning." he says to me, timothée has an arrogant look on his face before walking away from the table as soon as marcus came. "someone's upset." marcus laughs.

i say nothing looking the other way.

"earth to fate." he says, trying to get my attention.

but i say nothing.

"if you're gonna act like i don't exist at least don't give goggly eyes when i walk into the room, am i that desiring to stare at?" he jokes. 

"please— i do not stare at you in that way."

he sighs for a moment, just staring around the room. "it's the same stare you gave when we first kissed."

"oh gosh stop! it was one kiss." i was already embarrassed he had to bring it up, considering there was no emotion attached to that kiss.

"oh ya?" he says.

"ya, now stop." i roll my eyes, walking away from the table to put my plate into the sink.

—

"okay, partner up." marcus says, walking besides me before timothée could get to me, i see timothée stop walking, backing away. 

we needed more food to balance the ration of food since more people came into the house. so we broke into partners. timothée with charlie and i was with marcus.

libby and riley stayed home, we needed someone to watch riley. we couldn't let her see the bodies or the killer things.

"go with charlie. i cannot stand you, is it not clicking?"

i look over at timothée waiting for him to say something, but he doesn't say anything. he turns a blind eye, going with charlie. knowing my hate towards marcus.

"i don't care what you don't like." marcus says.

i snatch the backpack from his hand and sit on the train, while charlie sits across from me. "what!" i say
breaking the awkward silences we seemed to have.

"cheeky." charlie says, looking away from me.

i realized how rude i sounded after being overly frustrated about marcus, i didn't mean to put my anger in charlie. "i'm sorry—for being an ass." i say, hesitantly.

"figured you were just throwing a wobbly, but—i forgive you american girl." he says with a smile on his face.

charlie was different from the other boys, marcus and timothée both had their fair share of being equally assholes and brainless jerks but charlie he was quiet. free minded.

"thank you, british boy." i say giving a soft faint smile.

the train stops and so does charlie's smile "what if we see one of those things, bloody hell! i cannot fight." charlie says to both timothée and marcus.

"you shoot." timothée hands him a gun. charlie looks at it with terror on his face, denying it, handing it back.

"i'd much rather die." charlie says. timothée hands the gun back.

"you'll need it." he says and finally charlie gives in and holds it.

marcus snaps his fingers, signaling me to get up. "i'm not a fucking dog." i say, walking off the train as he followed from behind.

"with the amount of barking you did today, maybe..." marcus says, while i hear timothée chuckles in the background.

he somehow always finds a way to anger me, i couldn't even stand the sound of his voice.

we walked over some bodies that lay cold dead on the ground, the smell was excruciating, holding in the feeling to throw up. i kept my eyes up, to avoid looking and my shirt over my nose to not have the distasteful smell down my throat.

timothée and charlie went their own way while i stayed with marcus.

"holy—shit." marcus says, he uses one foot after another to get pass, while we both stayed quiet with one gun in our hand.

we made it to the door of the gas station, going into the store, "ladies first." he opens the door to let me in. he glared his flashlight because of the dimness of the store, checking if anything was there.

i begin to grab things we needed. as i hear marcus in the other aisle, cans clanging and plastic being moved.

a strong pull knocking me into a room, i didn't scream because of the nervousness causing me to go still, with fear running down my spine.