Paranoid

Committed

Katya popped a bottle of champagne, careful to keep the contents from overflowing. She filled Trixie's glass and then poured half a glass for herself. Trixie raised an eyebrow.

"You're drinking again?"

Katya didn't meet Trixie's gaze and nodded, "Yup. I think I can handle it pretty well."

Trixie searched her counterpart's face but it revealed nothing. Katya's striking eyes met hers and she raised her champagne glass. She tilted it towards Trixie. An unflinching expression told Trixie it was best she not get into it, so she decided to trust that Katya could handle her alcohol and brought her glass to meet hers with a satisfying clink.

...

Katya brought the shell of an oyster to her lips and knocked her head back like she was taking a shot. Trixie eyed her and took polite bites of her salad. Katya caught the girl's gaze and cocked her head, forming a devilish smile.

"What, is there something on my face?"

"Oysters are an aphrodisiac. I'm guessing you want something on your face tonight," Trixie replied coyly, turning her attention back to her salad. She glanced up at Katya from underneath her eyelashes, and Katya's grin only grew. She knocked back another oyster, maintaining eye contact with Trixie. Heat crept into Trixie's midsection and she pressed her legs together.

After dinner the girls moved onto the balcony so Katya could get in a quick smoke. They leaned against the railing, Katya's arm around Trixie's waist and Trixie's head on her shoulder. Purple overtook orange in the sky and the lights of city buildings shone brighter than before. Night crawlers hopped from bar to bar and the faint sounds of live music could be heard from nearby jazz clubs. Fresh night air mingled with the smoke billowing from Katya's cigarette.

"I want to remember this moment forever," Trixie whispered. Katya blew smoke at the city then turned to look at Trixie.

"I'm so happy we got to do this. I really love your company, Trix."

Trixie's blush was veiled by the balcony's dim lighting. She pressed her lips to Katya's and relished in the familiar taste of smoke. Katya removed her arm and propped herself against railing with her elbows. She looked at Trixie like nobody had ever looked at her before.

"Tell me about your life before you came out here," Katya breathed.

"It was pretty boring... why do you want to know?"

"I'm curious. I feel like I don't really know anything about you and I... well, I want to. I want to know everything about you."

"Okay... where should I start?"

"Well, where are you originally from?"

Trixie leaned her back against the railing and held herself up by her elbows. "I'm from Wisconsin. Milwaukee."

"Ahh, a midwestern girl! You're glamorous for a midwesterner, I would never have thought."

"I got really into fashion and beauty and all that in high school. And once I moved out here, started making some money working, I made all my fantasies a reality."

"You couldn't make them a reality in Milwaukee?"

Trixie looked down at her bare feet against the concrete. "Not really. We were pretty poor."

"Oh."

"Like, dirt poor."

"Oh?"

"Like, okey smokey pokey poor."

"O-oh."

"We'd bathe in lakes and I lived in a trailer for most of my childhood."

"I see. Were you close with your family?"

"Somewhat," Trixie bit her lip in thought. She'd never told any of the people in her new life about her past trauma. She figured if she was going to tell anyone, Katya would be the first. She continued, "I was really close to my grandpa. He actually taught me how to play guitar--"

"You play guitar? That's so cool!"

Trixie laughed lightly, "I guess. I have baby sisters who I'm super close to now. I talk to them, like, every day." She took another pause, collecting her thoughts and attempting to mentally quell the stinging behind her eyes, "My mom and I got along well most of the time. It wasn't her I ever really had trouble with... but I didn't know my dad. And I had a lot of stepdads. And one really, really shitty one stuck for a while and he hated me. He found out I was into girls and he lost his mind. He pulled a shotgun on me... is it weird that I've had two guns pulled on me in my lifetime?"

"You're asking the wrong person."

"Right. Anyways, after that happened my mom kind of just... gave me up. I couldn't live at home anymore and so I belonged to the state for a while. Then that asshole stepdad died and my mom and I were able to reconnect. But I couldn't stay in Milwaukee. It just held too many shitty memories. So I came to school here to study theatre. I'm hoping to go to beauty school after I get my bachelor's."

Katya watched Trixie intently, her cigarette mostly ash and mostly unsmoked. She put out the cigarette and dropped it off the balcony. She took Trixie's hands in hers.

"I'm sorry you went through all that," she whispered gently. Trixie couldn't meet her gaze; tears stood at the ready, like hidden soldiers anxious to invade Troy.

"It's not your fault," she chuckled awkwardly, still staring at a random spot of concrete. Katya raised Trixie's lowered head so she'd meet her eyes. Trixie's eyes, even in half-darkness, sparkled like the sun. As though a bolt of lightning surged through her, Katya nearly shouted at Trixie,

"Be my girlfriend!"

Trixie's eyes widened and she jerked her head back. Katya always spoke so gently so her outburst, along with the words she actually just said, took her by surprise. Katya noticed her shock and apologized profusely, awkwardly mumbling in an attempt to explain herself, but Trixie wasn't listening. Trixie didn't realize just how much she wanted those three words to come out of Katya's mouth. She placed a finger on the girl's lips to quiet her, then her lips met Katya's in a moment of passion and she pulled away, resting her forehead against Katya's.

"I'd love to."

Katya's smile was radiant. She kissed Trixie sweetly and wrapped her in a hug. Her low voice rang through the night air,

"I'll treat you right, Trix. I swear."