The Interview • Chris Evans

The Confession

It felt like all the blood left your body and you were going to pass out.

"So, she friendzoned you? I find that hard to believe - you're Captain America!" Jimmy and the audience were chuckling, but Chris looked like he wanted to bolt, even if you knew no one else saw what you did; the tense way he was holding his body while fidgeting with his hands.

"Yeah, I guess?" He said it like a question, and you were sure you were no longer breathing.

"Wait, are you in love with her?" Jimmy asked, his face now dead serious.

What. The. Fuck.

Chris looked directly into the camera, and a moment later the feed cut, the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon logo appearing on your TV screen, followed by the commercial break. 

No. Chris did not love you. Think. Breathe. Focus. What was actually going on here?

This was likely some PR stunt his team planned for his new movie that they neglected to tell him about. It was a story of unrequited love, after all. Yeah. That's what it was. They were playing up that angle to get people to see the movie. Right.

And it would almost seem like you believed that yourself, except for your hands that wouldn't stop shaking.

Putting down your wine glass, you began pacing your apartment. Dodger huffed, burying his head under your discarded blanket.

Now that you thought of it, Chris hadn't texted you after the taping of the show. He normally at least checked in to see how Dodger was doing. But after this interview – silence. He was likely figuring out how to deal with the fallout from this staged stunt before he called, to tell you in no uncertain terms he was not in love with you.

Speaking of his calls ... you couldn't decide if you did or didn't want to talk to him tonight. While you loved being Chris' friend – and you truly did – the reality was that you would love for Jimmy to be right. For Chris to want you in the way you wanted him. But he could have anyone. Chris freaking Evans. Captain America. And sure, you hadn't seen him go on many dates lately... but that didn't mean he was interested in you. He wasn't interested in you, that way.

The sooner your stubborn heart could realize that, the better. Then maybe you could go out with someone without comparing them to Chris the whole time.

Grabbing your empty wine glass and almost empty wine bottle from the coffee table, you took them to the kitchen and put them on the counter to deal with later. It was late, but you had a lot of pent-up energy you needed to deal with or you'd never sleep.

Deciding you didn't want to have that conversation with Chris tonight, you picked up your phone and opened your text thread, the last message staring at you ominously. He'd said he was looking forward to talking to you. And hadn't texted. Or called. Typing out a message with shaking fingers, you came up with the best excuse you could.

Going for a late-night walk with Dodger. He's doing well. Turning off my phone. I'll have it back on in the morning

Before you could lose your nerve, you hit send. Maybe it wasn't the best excuse. Or even an excuse at all. But if your phone was off, you couldn't see a call from him. Because let's face it – you'd never be strong enough to reject it if you left it on.

Tucking the powered down phone into your pocket, you headed to the front hall closet, getting ready to brave the winter weather. Boston got cold – really cold – and snowed a fair bit. It hadn't snowed recently, but the wind had been quite biting earlier today. Wrapping yourself in a warm peacoat, scarf, and hat, you laughed as Dodger came bounding off the couch, excited for an extra walk.