On my way

Chapter 14

I'm sitting on my bed listening to the soft sounds of a piano from a "Love me like you do" cover. When we got back from downtown, we had to hurry because we had a short practice tonight. In 2 days is the match against Colombia. After that, we're going back home. Me to Portland. Without Chris. Alone for two weeks. And then it's off to the She believes Cup. When Chris came over to my place after practice, her hair was completely soaked from sweat. We took a long, hot shower and then watched a movie. After that she went back to her room and wanted to call her sister again.

By now it is 10:15 pm. I'm still lying on my bed and can't stop thinking about her. She is like an earworm that has been stuck in my head for days. I'm so immersed in my sea of memories that I don't even notice a soft knock on my door. I get up, shuffle slowly across the wooden floor and open the door. "Hey," Christen says, kissing me. "Hey. I thought you were going to stay at your place today so Kelley wouldn't find out." I state. "Yeah, but I missed you and besides, she's asleep now. I just need to get back before she wakes up." She puts her arms around my shoulders and says it so incredibly sweet that I can't argue with it.

*Some time later*

We are both naked on my bed and yet I feel incredibly hot. Christen runs her fingertips over my body. "Only 2 more days." She says disappointedly. "MHH." I growl, already half asleep. "I don't want to go home. I want to stay with you." I sigh and gently press her against me. She pushes herself up so she could look me straight in the eye now. The blanket comforter crackles softly as she moves. I open my eyes slowly and look at her. I have to smile. She is just so beautiful. "What if I don't go home?" "You mean you want to come to my place?" "That's exactly what I mean. No one has to know I'm not even home, right?" "Yes" I reply, smiling and carefully placing her head back on my chest. 

We glide over empty streets. Megan had the idea to go out for dinner with us again tonight. We take a public bus. Me and Chris sit relatively in the middle. Ash and Ali next to us and Megan in front of us. Megan and Ash are talking, Chris and I are silent, our hands resting on the vacant piece next to us, her little finger very close to mine. I wait for her touch like an electric shock. I feel Christen looking at me and I look over at her. She is half in shadow, looking almost black and white in the darkness. The cold glow of the streetlights like a strobe light. It glides across her neckline and chin, then it's gone for a moment and the next one appears. Chris wears her hair in a bun, making her face look a little narrower and her eyes bigger. She has mascaraed her eyelashes and is wearing pink re-inc shirt and black tight pants. She is beautiful, almost fake in this dim light. She smiles. And I smile. My heart beats fast. Way too fast for just sitting on a bus and barely moving. The blood rushes in my ears. I don't hear Megan's voice or the voices of the other people on the bus. I look into Christen's eyes and she looks back into mine and I know it's true. There's no point in denying it anymore. I love her. I love her so much that I can hardly stand it.

 About twenty minutes later we are in another world. And that in the middle of Orlando. We sit in the "REYES MEZCALERIA" next to countless plants, whose leaves cast huge shadows on the floor - Chris next to me, Megan diagonally next to her and above us Ash and Ali. The place is neither too bright nor too dark and the interior manages the almost impossible balancing act between modern and cozy. Caribbean music blares and for a brief moment I forget where we are. While we ate our appetizers, it was mostly Chris, Ash and Megan talking. I just enjoyed the moment and kept looking at Chris. After the appetizers, Chris and I held hands under the table and the butterflies were in my stomach again. I wanted to just kiss her so incredibly much, but I can't. The waiter arrives and we order the main courses. It is definitely a boisterous evening and we laughed a lot. More than we have in ages. Ash tells us something from her childhood. The candlelight flickers in her dark eyes. She holds Ali's hand, stroking the back of her hand with her thumb. The two of them are just happy in a way that many couples never will be. I'm happy for them both. Below the tabletop, Chris strokes my leg with the tips of her toes, slowly up my leg; above, she listens intently. I don't know how she manages that. I have long since lost the thread. When her hand disappears under the cloth napkin on my lap, I flinch and bang my knee against the tabletop from below. Everyone looks at me. "I.... I have to go to the bathroom for a minute." I take the napkin, put it on the table, and stand up. "Me too," Chris says and rises as well.

We kiss each other. Christen's tongue tastes of coconut and something fruity that I can't place. I'm careful not to mess up her hairstyle, which is pretty hard for me - obviously I like to touch her hair. Her fingers touch the fabric of my bra. A door squeaks. "Chris? Tobin?" We freeze. It's Ali. A second passes before I dare to answer. "Yes?" I ask cautiously. "The food is here." She says. "Okay thanks" I don't sound like me. I sound like someone who just got caught doing something. I sense Ali is still there, wondering if she can see our shadows. Our intertwined legs, in the booth. But then I hear the door slam shut. She is gone.