Second Chances

Chapter 7

Author's note: Sorry in advance for this one! (Also, potential trigger warning: it's heavily based on 7x13)

Adam's POV

"5021 Henry, 10-1, 10-1 I have an officer and a civilian down. Need two ambos..." The sounds of my radio fade out and the only thing I can hear is my heart pounding as I race to find the right motel room. I burst through the already open door.

"Kim! Kim, are you alright?!"

"Ruz!" Not the voice I needed to hear. Why isn't she answering? Why didn't she answer?

I rush into the bathroom, not noticing the dead body or Hailey or the vic or the broken tile strewn across the floor. All I can see is Kim, soaking wet and crumpled in pain. Oh my gosh she's hurt. Bad. How badly? How badly? Is she going to be okay? She has to be okay. She has to be okay.

I lift her out of the tub, not noticing the water that quickly soaks me too. She has to be okay. She feels so frail. She cries out in pain, and I'm scared I'm hurting her worse. Where is that ambo? Please let her be okay.

I'm in a building with cold white walls and too bright lights and it's smells overwhelmingly of antiseptic. Where is she? Why is no one telling me anything? Is she okay? She has to be okay. I can't lose them both. She has to-

I woke with a start, my heart pounding. It took me a few seconds to realize where I was, my eyes adjusting to the darkness of my bedroom. I reminded myself that this time it was just a nightmare, waiting for my breathing and pulse to return to normal. I glanced over to the other side of my bed, half expecting to see her there, wishing it wasn't empty. I hadn't had this nightmare in a couple months. I had had it almost every night at first, until slowly it got less frequent, down to a couple times a week and then eventually maybe once every other. Every time I would wake up in a panic, scared that this was the time that it would turn out I had lost them both. Once Kim and I had gotten close again, I stopped having it almost altogether. And on the rare occasion that I did, I could usually look over and see her sleeping peacefully and reassure myself that she was okay.

I grabbed my phone, wanting to text her, to make sure that she was okay. The home screen lit up, too bright in the dark room. 2:30 am. I put my phone back on my night stand. No, I couldn't text her this late. We'd barely seen each other all week and a random text at this hour would just make her worry. And that was the last thing I would ever want.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to stop my own brain from worrying. I laid awake for what seemed like forever, before eventually drifting back off to sleep.

"5021 Henry, 10-1, 10-1 I have an officer down. Need an ambo..." The sounds of my radio fade out and the only thing I can hear is my heart pounding as I race to find the right motel room. I burst through the already open door.

"Kim! Kim, are you alright?!"

"Ruz!" Not the voice I needed to hear. Why isn't she answering? Why didn't she answer?

I rush into the bathroom and freeze in the doorway. My heart stops beating, my lungs stop breathing, and my brain stops thinking. There in the middle of the floor is Kim, with Hailey kneeling over her performing CPR. I don't notice the two other bodies. I don't notice the broken tile strewn across the floor. I don't notice the small flood. I don't notice anything other than Kim's lifeless body. And the blood. There's so much blood. Too much blood.

Next thing I know the paramedics are putting her in an ambulance. I need to go with her. They won't let me. They don't understand. I have to be with her. I have to make sure she's okay.

I don't know how I got here. Cold white walls. Bright lights. Antiseptic. I think I'm going to be sick. Why can't I see her? I have to see her. Why is no one telling me anything?

Here comes the doctors. Why aren't they looking at me? Why won't they say anything? No. No it can't be true. They're lying. They're liars. She's okay. She's gonna be okay.

She can't be gone.

I woke up with a start, drenched with sweat and gasping for breath. I stumbled out of bed and rushed into the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before I threw up.

I'd never had that nightmare before. It was always the other one, the real one, the one we had lived through. This one was worse. A million times worse. I couldn't imagine what I would have done if this one had been the real one. If the person I cared about more than anything in the world was gone. Just the thought of it made the contents of my stomach threaten to make another appearance. I stayed there on the floor for what felt like hours, until I was finally able to shakily get up. I splashed cold water on my face, rinsing off the tears that pricked at my eyes.

Once I walked back into my bedroom, I looked at the clock and swore. 3:30 am. There was no way I was going back to sleep, no way I was going through that again. Instead, I decided to get ready for work and headed to take a shower.