Poems and Such

Where Are We?

I see him and I question nothing. I do not question why he is here. I do not question where I am. All I think is how I need to get to him and I sprint toward him. Once I reach him I throw my arms around him and say "Hi hi hi." I try to catch my breath and wipe my eyes. I realize now that I'm crying because I am so happy to see him.

He kisses my nose and smiles at me. "Hi," he says, grinning.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"Heaven," he says, grinning proudly. "Isn't it wonderful?"

I look around me. Everything is beautiful and bright and shining. "Yeah, it's beautiful, but--" I stop and look at him. "Did I die?"

"Yeah," he says, his voice quiet as he tucks part of my hair behind my ear. "Your memory of the final moments will come back soon, but for now it's going to be fuzzy. You got sick. Really sick. And according to the doctors, your immune system was weakened because of grief." He shrugs. "You suffered for a while, and that sucked, but now you're here. With me. We'll be fine."

"But what about my family?" I ask, trying to let it all sink in. I don't feel sad, not necessarily. I don't feel any negative emotions, for that matter. But I don't feel particularly happy. I suppose I just feel peaceful and rested. It's a good feeling.

"They'll be okay. They'll get here eventually. They'll be sad for a while, but they'll get better. And then they'll come here, and they'll be with us," he says, smiling. "For now, it will just be you and I."

"Where is everyone else?" I ask, as we start to walk around, hand in hand. "Shouldn't there be millions of dead people here?"

"No. Heaven is just a place to be surrounded by those who love you. You are the first person in my Heaven, because you're the first person that I love who has died. Your family and friends will end up here with you. My family and friends will end up in mine, but our Heavens are separate. You will only have people that you love in your Heaven."

I watch him as he talks. I never thought I would be able to be with him again. But now I'm here and I'm happy.

"So, it's just us here?" I ask. He nods.

"Yeah. It's just us in your Heaven. And that's okay," he says, smiling.

I am so glad to not be on Earth. All of the pain, the heartache, the suffering, all of it, is gone. Now we are here in this painless and peaceful world of our own. "After your accident, I just didn't--" I begin. He puts his finger to my lips and makes a shushing sound.

"We don't have to talk about the car accident. I died. But it's over, and now we're here together. It doesn't matter," he says.

"We both died because of that accident," I say, suddenly. The realization is sudden. I am not angry about it or upset. I just felt the need to share my realization with him. "You died in the car accident and I died from grief over your death."

"You figured it out," he says, his voice dropping to a whisper. "That driver will most certainly not be in our Heavens."

"You're right," I say. We sit down on the ground. Right now it looks like we are on a field with rolling hills. There are no bugs, the grass is soft and the wind is gentle.

I rest my head in his lap and he plays with my hair. I pick flowers from the field around me and hand them to him as he weaves them into my hair. I am so perfectly happy. This is what I always thought that Heaven would be like. I didn't picture this situation, but I did anticipate the perfect happiness.

We talk for a while. He makes me laugh and I make him smile. He answers all of my Heaven questions.

"Wait, who told you all of this?" I ask.

"I'm not really sure. The whole time after I first got here is sort of blurry," he says. "It doesn't really matter."

"I suppose nothing really matters anymore, does it?" I ask.

"Not really. No worries. No responsibilities. Nothing important needs to be done."

"Good," I say, sighing. "I don't want to worry about anything anymore."

"You don't have to worry ever again. You did enough worrying while you were alive," he says.

"I'm so glad we're dead," I sigh.

"Me too."