the good, the bad, and the dirty | jay, kai, and lloyd

08 - cookie crumble

the moonshine was bright, the light masking my face with a glow. as i heard nya snore away, i gazed at the moon, admiring its beauty. i figured if i stared long enough, sleep would finally come over me.

my stomach rumbled loudly, disturbing me from the serenity i was forming with my mind. i cursed softly, as i peeled myself off the bed and tiptoed out to the kitchen.

maybe it was just the hunger that tortured me. 

i prayed no one would hear me, because i did not want to have my chances of sleep decrease any more than it already was.

third person pov

jay twisted and turned in his bed, unable to fall asleep. he hated this feeling. as he dreadfully basked in the sounds of snores from kai and the whirling of zane's gears, he heard the floor from nya and y/n's room creak maliciously.

tempted to get up to check out the noise, he stopped to evaluate the situation. maybe it was just nya doing some late night organizing. he knew his girlfriend was always productive; she hated wasting time, so whenever she could be up doing something, there she was. but jay specifically remembered the events of today's training--nya was extremely tired, so she must have been knocked out. 

that left jay to think of y/n. he felt relieved he could think about her freely, without anyone suspecting a thing about it. although he took cole's advice to mind his business, he couldn't help but ponder about her all the time. he wished he could just talk to her, but circumstances never allowed it. 

so when something inside of him urged him to go investigate the origin of the creaking, he hesitantly arose from his bed at the top bunk. 

he opened the door to kai's, zane's, and his bedroom slowly, peeking his head out first to scan his surroundings. the faint light of the fridge caught his eye, so quietly, he went in the direction of the kitchen. 

his heart skipped various beats when he laid eyes on y/n, munching silently on a chocolate chip cookie. he felt his whole body become packed with nerves, just as she glanced up at him. 

y/n was startled at the sight of him too, jumping and eyes widening simultaneously. she couldn't find the will to swallow her cookie crumbles that rested in her mouth. 

"hi j-jay," she greeted with her mouth full, placing a hand over it. 

"h-hi, y/n," answered the timid boy softly. 

the two exes stared at one another in silence, too stunned to say a word. 

y/n couldn't believe out of everyone here, he had been the one to resurface into the kitchen. 

jay was having a hard time collecting himself together from the inside. he was finally here, in her presence, just them two, after wishing he could be. 

after a couple seconds went by, y/n gulped down the remaining cookie crumbs and cleared her throat. she brought the box of cookies and displayed it in front of jay. 

"you want one?" 

taken out from the trance, jay blinked back to normal and addressed y/n. 

"s-sure."

he reached for the box y/n had set on the counter, reluctantly slipping a chocolate chip from the box. he took a bite, feeling as y/n was watching him intently. 

"so," y/n finally said, dropping her gaze. "how are you doing? i feel like i haven't talked to you since i first got here." 

she had mustered so much courage to compose those words. she inhaled a shaky breath and exhaled a much more calmer one. she was attempting to not beat herself up for talking to her ex boyfriend. no, more like asking something she had been wondering to herself that she never thought she would get to ask him directly. 

"i-i know, i'm sorry," jay began. "i've just been pretty busy, you know? focusing on training and what not." 

y/n grinned shyly. "yeah, totally." 

"what about you? h-how are you liking the team?" 

"it's great. not as structured as i thought, but it's great." 

jay laughed. "yeah, we aren't as cool as we seem."

"i mean mostly everyone is, don't get me wrong," y/n continued the conversation, a lot more calm. she also sensed the vibe from jay, giving her more confidence. "but kai is honestly something else. has he always been this arrogant?"

his heart dropped for a hot sec at the mention of kai. was it a pang of jealousy? jay hoped it wasn't, but deep down he knew it had to be. he forced a chuckle, feeling envious y/n took notice of his personality. 

"kai is kai," jay replied, shaking his head. "he thinks being over the top self-assertive is attractive but in reality, i think it's kinda dumb." 

y/n smiled cheekily. she thought jay giving his perspective on kai's ways was adorable, only because his style was the complete opposite. 

jay noticed her smile, feeling his heart glow with warmth. he didn't even try to conceal the fact because the radiance was overwhelming. 

"what's so funny?"

"nothing. i think it's kinda admirable that you disapprove of kai's ways, that's all." 

y/n placed her hand inside the box of cookies, which just happened to be at the exact same moment jay did, too. their fingers touched, hovering just above the box's opening. 

with the contact of his fingers, she felt a rush of electricity course through her entire body. it was a sensation she hadn't felt in two years, one she had forgotten all about. 

when he felt her touch,  jay was electrified with adrenaline. his heart was pounding, almost as if it was about to rip away from his chest. he looked up to meet her pretty e/c eyes, unable to move. 

upon the gaze of his electric blue eyes, she could feel her insides dance with vibrance. as much as the voices of her heart and mind longed for this moment to last, she blinked and regained her sense of reality. 

"i'm so s-sorry," y/n mumbled, licking her lips. "y-you can go first." 

"no." 

jay grabbed her hand again, this time intertwining them together. she was bombarded with a lot more electrical currents, causing her heart to beat rapidly. he stared pleadingly at her eyes with so much intensity, y/n couldn't helped but feel enchanted. 

"did you feel that? t-that's the literal spark we have together, y/n," jay professed, his gaze never ripping off her. "i-i was trying so hard to avoid this feeling i had when you got here but i come to realize that our time isn't over. w-we can be in love all over again, y/n." 

"w-we can't," y/n croaked, swallowing in fear. she was trying so hard to shut out everything that was telling her that this was right. 

"w-why not?!" 

"you are dating nya, for crying out loud, jay! i-i don't want to be the reason you break her heart." 

"i'll end it."

"that's not the point!"

"then what is it, y/n?!" 

"i..." her voiced trailed off momentarily, reaching a cliff. she saw two choices here. to fall the cliff, and leave jay with the ultimate cliff hanger. or b, to collect herself together and be firm in her choice. 

"i just don't feel the same way." 

and with that, y/n walked away, leaving jay with a crumbled cookie in hand, and a crumbled heart inside. 

she was trying to convince herself that this was the absolute best thing. she had to remain focused, for the sake of her sensei, parents, and self, even though she had to lie about her feelings for the blue ninja. 

neither of them slept that night. how could they after what was said, done, and felt? they were too busy replaying the moment over and over, hour after hour. 

 it was until the sunlight blared through their rooms that they both realized what they had done.