The Write Match // Bill Hader

Twenty-Four

We only share a couple words when we wake up. He left for the studio earlier than I did, knowing I didn't want to go together, knowing that I needed space. I feel bad, knowing how he feels and knowing how I feel but not being able to say or express it. I get ready to go to the studio, knowing I look awful, knowing I look exhausted.

"You okay?" Seth asks me, just the two of us in the writers room.

"I've had better days." I tell him truthfully.

"A certain word keeping you down?" He says and I glare at him.

"I'm not in the mood for jokes today, Seth." I tell him. "And no, that's not it at all." He shakes his head.

"Bill tells me differently, he just looks sad today." He tells me and I hate the feeling in my chest. I hate feeling this upset at myself.

Bill walks in, John and Kristen following him, but he doesn't look sad at all, he has the biggest smile on his face. "You're in a better mood." Seth says, and he takes a seat.

"It's show day, what's not to be in a good mood about?" He asks, shrugging at his words and I smile. "Look at that, even Meredith is smiling!" He says and the mood of the room is bright. Bill gets into his wardrobe.

"You're dressed way too early." John tells him.

"It's fine." He shrugs and takes a seat, everyone crowding into the room. I start talking to Seth, asking about Weekend Update, and ideas for next week. John ends up joining the conversation, and then I hear Bill's unmistakable laugh. He hasn't just caught my attention, everyone in the room is watching him and Fred.

"Hey man did you go to LA?" Bill asks.

"Yeah, yeah."

"How did you get back to your hotel?"

Fred clears his throat and starts talking in a Southern California accent. "Well dude, I went down Sunset, then I took a left on La Cienega and I took that all the way down to Pica, took a right, took Pica to hop on the Ten, hop on the Ten West and then took that all the way down to the beach, then headed up the PCA." Everyone in the room laughs when the two of them finish. 

"That would be a really good sketch." Seth says. 

"How about we somehow make it into a soap opera, maybe we'll call it The Californians." Fred suggests. 

"In good soap opera fashion, we have to make sure there are at least two people that are fooling around behind everybody's backs." Bill says and looks right at me and I swear I could throw up.

"It sounds like a great idea, I love it. Do you think we could work on it some more?" Seth asks him and I can't sit anymore. I stand quickly and everyone's attention shifts to me. 

"I need to pee before the show starts. I'll see you in the audience, John." I mumble, leaving before anyone can question me. Everyone knows by now, it's a well-known fact that Bill and I are seeing each other. I have pulled us both in too deep and it ends here, it ends after the show tonight. I walk towards the stage, going straight to my seat and I wait for John. 

"Everything okay?" He asks, and I look at him out of the corner of my eye. 

"I'm ending it. Tonight." I tell him and he starts to open his mouth to speak. "Don't waste your breath trying to change my mind because you won't." I tell him truthfully. 

The show starts and everyone is doing amazing. Bill comes on and he's smiling the entire time, laughing and making jokes, making my heart grow in size with every laugh which only makes me want to run away even more than I did before. 

I look up and see one of the producers walking straight towards me. "We don't normally do this..." the producer stops, and I feel my face burn hot with nerves because I know exactly what is about to happen. "Seth is sick and we have no one else to host Weekend Update tonight." They say, and my eyes go wide. "Seth requested that you do it tonight, since you helped him write it, of course." I look at them and I know I look like a deer in headlights right now. I've never wanted to disappear more than I do right now. 

"You better go Meredith, no one else is going to do it." John gives me a small push and I move, knowing he's right. I go backstage, getting dressed in one of Amy's outfits she wore when she hosted Weekend Update with Seth. 

"You okay?" Bill asks, a smile plastered across his face. 

"We're about to be down one writer." I mumble, walking past him and onto the stage, taking a seat behind the desk. 

I hear the intro for Weekend Update start and the crowd cheers, I smile, but choose to ignore them, knowing I'll pass out if I see the amount of people looking at me right now. I see Bill sitting next to John in the crowd, he's beaming, I'm faking it. 

"I'm Meredith Elliot, filling in for Seth Meyers. Here are tonights top stories." I finish the segment and wait for the producer to signal that we're no longer live. 

"Meredith Elliot everyone!" Bill yells from the audience, and I give them a wave and another smile, finally seeing the entire audience. I start walking off the stage and back to the dressing room, changing back into my normal clothes and getting my things together to leave, knowing I'm fed up with tonight. I walk out the door and hear a familiar voice. 

"Hey Meredith." I turn and see Fred standing there.

"Hey." I say back and I see him smile, opening his arms up.

"You did great tonight. How are you feeling?" He asks in our hug.

"Thank you. I'm alright, I'm actually about to head home." I tell him and he furrows his eyebrows.

"You're not staying for the rest of the show?" He asks, and I look back towards the main stage and back to him, trying to figure out what to say. "Oh, I see." He smiles and now I'm the one furrowing my eyebrows. "I'll see you around." He rubs my shoulder and I smile. 

"Bye Fred." I wave, walking out of the studio, feeling like I can finally breathe.