by the sidelines • haechan

nineteen

"Excuse me, you don't know how much I've been training to come this far, and you dare say I've been spoonfed?" I retorted, highly offended by his comment. It would've been better if he stuck with weak mentality.

"There you go again, why are you reacting so strongly by these trivial comments?" He glanced at me with much mockery, "This just shows that you've been complimented all your life."

"You would be surprised by how many times I've got told off during training, it's nothing to be proud of." I clenched my teeth as I barely managed to calm myself down, but his derisive expression made it harder to hold back. "Those scoldings were what made me perform better."

"If it helped you so much, then why did you run away?" He stared at me with the same dubious eyes from last night, demanding the answer he never got to hear.

"You're bringing that up again?" I hissed, tired of hearing the same topic for the last time.

"You can't expect me to be left in the dark, can you?" He shrugged, turning back to his original, annoying self. I was on the verge of losing my cool.

"And what are you gonna do with that information? Mock me even more? Is that all you can do?" I blurted, feeling the heat reach the tip of my ears as I felt an inner volcano erupting in my heart. If he was aiming for this reaction, he's done a very good job.

However, Donghyuck remained speechless as if caught right on the tongue, but I knew he had much more to say. If he had any conscience left in him, he would stop right here.

"Is that still how you see this? A mockery?" He growled after a short while, his narrowing eyes fuelling my fire even more.

"Then what do you suppose I take it as?" I questioned, my anger subsiding a little, "If you meant constructive criticism, then you've gone about it the wrong way."

I stood up, tired to continue this argument even more.

"Honestly, I thought training with you will benefit me both physically and mentally, to the point I even considered seeing you in a different light. Lucky for me, it was the most productive session I had, so thank you for that."

I took a step forward before pausing, whipping around with one last sentence in mind.

"I was naive to think you were any less unapproachable."

With that, I stomped down the hill, passing Haknyeon who wore a perplexed expression on his face. I didn't even have the mood to bid goodbye. Just when I knew I was out of sight, I halted in my tracks and looked back, rage filling in me again. The thought of considering giving myself a chance to accept him made me boil with mortification.

Of course, a leopard can't change its spots no matter how much you force it to.

However, what I didn't get was the fact he agreed to let me train together with them, even setting aside some techniques specially for me. And going back further, he was the one who instigated the training session on the beach and that self-defence class. What exactly was he planning?

I rid my head of those unwanted thoughts and continued my journey back home. Whatever his reason was, I didn't need to care. What matters to me now is that I'm officially back on track and I'm staying, with or without his help.

---

I can't sleep.

To think that I thought I could due to that vigorous training in the day, but I can't. No matter how much tossing I did in bed to get into a comfier sleeping position, no matter how hard I close my eyes, I just can't seem to fall asleep.

I glanced at my bedside clock and sighed. It was already midnight, yet it felt like the middle of the day in my brain. If it was a school day, I would've literally knocked myself out just to get some shut-eye.

Okay, I can't take this anymore.

I jumped out of bed and tiptoed out of my room, being overly cautious not to wake my aunt. Keeping my carefulness all the way to the kitchen, I opened the fridge slowly and sourced out the carton of plain milk that was hidden deep in one of the compartments.

I gently removed a glass from the counter and poured myself the liquid, before taking a long sip. The cold milk gushed down my throat and swirled soothingly inside my chest, before settling into my stomach. I plopped down on a chair as I let the liquid take effect, but I still didn't feel the least bit tired. This won't do, I'll need to take it outside.

And by that, I mean literally.

As quietly as I could, I slipped on my sliders and opened the main door, it's creaking noises making me highly paranoid of my surroundings. Luckily, I managed to make it out without any extra sounds.

I trudged down the road with my hands stuffed deep into the pockets of my hoodie. The midnight air was much colder than in the day, sending a fresh gust of wind to relax my body. Jeju air is really another level of rejuvenation.

The quiet street made it all the more relaxing, with the minimal sound of leaves rustling with the breeze and the waves gushing by the shores. Wait a minute, that gives me an idea.

I skipped forward excitedly, turning the corner right before the training centre to be met with a refreshing blow of sea breeze as a smile brought upon my face. I sat down on one of the benches, closing my eyes and drowning in the melody of crashing waves. Nothing beats nature singing you a lullaby.

I felt myself swaying to the beat of the waves, which was accompanied by the rustling of leaves above me and the occasional squawks of seagulls nearby. The song of the beach was so alluringly peaceful, I almost fell asleep right there and then.

"Do you want to get eaten alive?"

I jumped at the sudden sound of a voice, darting around to find the source of disruption until my eyes landed on a particular figure in front of me. My face fell immediately.