Trying to Kill Each Other Doesn't Count as Flirting (or Does it?)

Chapter 23

And with that, he walked away. (F/N) felt a surge of panic in her chest. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. This wasn't how this was supposed to go at all. She'd already lost her parents, she'd already lost Shigeshige. She couldn't lose him, as well.

"Sougo!" she shouted. "Sougo, wait! What's going on? What—"

"I said leave me alone." He paused, and for a moment, she thought he might turn around, but then he spoke, his voice strangely loud in the quiet of the night.

"What, have you gone deaf now, Hitotsubashi Princess?"

Hitotsubashi Princess.

When he said that, his voice was usually light and teasing, so why was it so cold now? It was like they were right back at the beginning, when they'd wished for nothing more than the other's violent death. How had they wound up back at point A? How? Why?

But as much as (F/N) wanted to, she didn't have the courage to ask. All she could do was stand there, and fight back the tears threatening to stream down her cheeks.

No, she told herself, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. I'm not doing this. I'm not that same naive girl locked in a mansion and isolated from the world. If Sougo wants to be an asshole, that's his problem. As for me, I'll keep moving forward.

After all, that's all I can do.

~o0o~

If Okita had turned around, perhaps he would have regretted what he'd said. Perhaps he would have run back, and held her against his chest, and reassured her that everything was all right. He didn't hate her—not in the least—but after failing to protect his sister, and failing to protect the Shinsengumi, he was afraid of what would happen if he failed to protect her, and maybe he felt guilty, just a little, that he hadn't been able to do anything to keep her from losing her family twice.

But he didn't turn around, and he didn't look back. Instead, he'd gone on a walk, and somehow ended up in a building, surrounded by a ragtag mix of rebels, Shinsengumi, and Yorozuya, plotting the most daring prison escape in history. It was stupid, reckless—a suicide mission, but for Sougo, it was worth it for Kondo's sake.

As they filed outside, he caught sight of Kagura, still leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest. He remembered what (F/N) had said—about how she was working at Otose's bar. If she was working there, he realized, that meant she was in close contact with the Yorozuya, and if she was in close contact with the Yorozuya, that meant she was in close contact with Kagura.

And if there was anything Okita knew about (F/N), it was that she was definitely the sort of person who would put herself in life-threatening danger to save Kondo.

That stupid girl...

"Oi, China."

Kagura turned towards him with a blank look on her face, and a finger up her nose.

"What? Do you want to beg for my help rescuing the gorilla?"

He resisted the urge to punch her.

"No. I need...I need you to do me a favor."

Her whole body stiffened, and she dropped into a fighting stance.

"I know! A brain parasite's gotten you, hasn't it?"

"What? No—"

Her fist collided with his face, and his hand dropped to his sword.

"That's it. You're dead."

Then he remembered he'd wanted to ask her for a favor.

"Hey..." he muttered, forcing his hand back to his side. "Listen, all I want is for you to not tell (F/N) what happened here tonight. Can you do that?"

She stared at him.

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what?' Can your puny chickpea-brain not comprehend the idea of keeping a secret?"

She narrowed her eyes. Three seconds passed, and she turned on her heel, heading down the street to Otose's bar.

"I'm gonna tell her."

"Wait! Stop! I was joking!"

She paused, and he grabbed her shoulder before she could consider escaping again.

"Look," he said, "just don't tell her, please."

She thought for a moment, and he heaved a sigh.

"I already said 'please.' What more do you want from me?"

She turned towards him, an evil grin stretched across her face, and he immediately regretted his choice of words.

"I want you to admit in front of everyone that I'm the strongest, most awesomest person you've ever met."

"Awesomest isn't even a word."

"I'm gonna tell her."

"Wait! Wait!"

He grabbed her arm, pulling her back, and said the first thing that popped into his head.

"A year's supply of pickled seaweed."

She thought for a moment.

"Ten year's supply, and an apology."

"...Five year's supply."

"Oi, (F/N)-chan—"

"Okay! Fine, fine, seven year's supply, and an apology, final offer."

She considered this, and nodded in satisfaction. Meanwhile, Sougo was starting to regret the day he'd been born.

"Look," he sighed. "I'm sorry for telling you awesomest isn't a word, and for saying your brain is the size of a chickpea. There, are you happy now?"

"What about Sadaharu Number Twenty-Eight?"

"I told you, that wasn't my fault—okay, fine! I'm sorry about your stupid dung beetle."

"...And for calling me a pig."

"And for calling you a pig."

"...And for trying to kill me when I pretended to be sick."

"And for trying to kill you when you pretended to be sick."

"...And for feeding me cake with Tabasco sauce in it."

"And for feeding you cake with Tabasco sauce in it."

With that, Kagura seemed satisfied, and Okita was seriously considering seppuku.

"(F/N)-chan's gonna kill you," Kagura pointed out as they walked back to the park, her monster dog in tow.

"That's fine," Sougo muttered, "just so long as she kills you first."

Kagura shot him a look, and turned in the direction of Otose's bar.

"I'm gonna tell her."

"Wait! I was joking! Wait!"

Author's Note: Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, please remember to vote. Thank you!

-Marguerite Partello