Infected

The Date

"This is the most fun I've had in a long time. Thank you so much," you said to your date as he  dropped you off in the lobby of the compound.

"The pleasure is all mine," he replied, his voice deep.

You couldn't help but blush as the brilliant neurosurgeon you had been out with leaned down and placed a kiss on your full red lips. After a moment, you pulled away and bit your lip as you reached for the door handle.

"Perhaps we could do this again sometime?"

"I would really like that," you replied, a smile dancing on your  lips. "Just give me a call whenever you are free to do so."

He leaned down and kissed you once more before offering a smile and backing away, walking towards the door  so he could get back outside to his car. As he left, you could hear his work pager going off. The timing couldn't have been better.

Once you were inside, you rested with your back against the door for a moment, smiling small to yourself, before beginning to walk through the common area and back to your room.

"Did you have a good time?" You heard from a male voice in the common area.

"Hey Buck. Yeah, it was nice."

"Where did you go?" Bucky asked as he sat back on the couch, his eyes on you.

"He took me to a really, REALLY nice restaurant in Manhattan and then we went to a wine tasting fundraiser."

"That doesn't sound like your type of scene."

"What do you mean? I'm capable of being fancy," you replied.

"But that isn't who you are."

"Oh really. Then please tell me who I am," you fought back.

"Not the type to go to fundraisers with a bunch of stuffy, stuck up doctors and rich people."

You couldn't help but let out an annoyed laugh at Bucky's comment.

"You know, I had a really good time and that's all that matters," you sighed.

"But?"

"But what? Why does there have to be a but?" You questioned.

"There's always a but with you," Bucky muttered

You sighed. Bucky was right. There was a but. The same but that always kept you from dating anybody else. The only problem is that he never knew what your 'but' was.

"He really liked me, Buck. But as much as I wish it could have, it was never going to work out between us."

"Why not?"

"Because, Buck." You took a deep breath, the hundreds of sips of wine catching up with you and giving you some liquid courage. "I love you."

Bucky's eyes widened slightly at your confession.

"I am so in love with you."

"No, you're not. Y/N, you're drunk."

"You're in me. It's like...it's like you're a disease. It's like I'm infected by James Buchanan Barnes. And even though I was out on a date with an incredibly wonderful guy, I couldn't think of anybody but you, Buck. I can't think straight when you're around. And I can't sleep because you're always in my head. And I just...I love you all of the time. Every minute of every damn day, Bucky. I love you."

"Y/N, I- I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything but God, let me tell you how good it felt to just get that all off of my chest!" You exclaimed before laughing to yourself.

It took a moment for you to realize that you had just told Bucky what you had been holding in for the past several years. The realization hit even harder when the person that you didn't realize that Bucky was waiting for entered the room.

"Oh my god. I just word vomited all over you and you have company. I am so embarrassed," you groaned, hiding your face in your hands.

"I didn't realize that I was getting dinner and a show. Hi, Y/N."

"Sharon, it's always good to see you," you muttered.

Both of you forced smiles and avoided eye contact with one another.

"Bucky didn't tell me that he had a date tonight."

"It was a last minute kind of thing," Sharon replied, tucking a lock of her golden blonde hair behind her ear. "Sorry for intruding on your moment."

"Oh, it isn't a huge deal. I have to go and be somewhere, anywhere else but here. You both have a good night," you quickly said as you stood up.

You felt a lump form in your throat at the sight of seeing Sharon and Bucky together and left to your room quickly.

"Y/N wait," Bucky called, standing up and beginning to walk after you before stopping. "Dammit."

"This is officially awkward so I think I'm going to show myself out. Thanks for dinner, James," Sharon said with a forced smile.

From down the hall, you heard Sharon leave and Bucky mutter something under his breath after Sharon was gone.

"Well that couldn't have gone any worse," you muttered to yourself before closing the door to your room and getting changed out of your formal attire and into some pj's.

You laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours, before drifting off to sleep, desperate to forget that you had said anything to Bucky.