Breathing

Wednesday 11th June 2016

I can't live without you...
Opening my eyes was always the hardest part of waking up, life had become this continuous rollercoaster of emotions and no two days were the same. Family life was never the easiest and since mum left, dad wasn't who he used to be.
"IVORY" the sound of Oskar's voice echoed through the house. Everyday was the same, dad would lay in bed staring at the ceiling until the second he realised he would be late for work and school mornings were left for me to do. Getting Oskar and Aria ready for school was a task in itself, two 5 year olds running around the house half dressed with day old hair was not the best wake up call but someone has to do it. I reached over grabbing my phone, everyday I hoped I would see her name on the screen telling me this was all a dream but everyday I woke up disappointed. As I got up I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I'm not the person I used to be, nothing about me looks or feels right, it's been this way since she left.
As I walked down the hallway I looked into dads room, he tries so hard everyday but he just can't live without her, he doesn't know how to function when she's not around and everyday I just want to scream at him to get up and help me, but everyday I remember how hard this has hit him and I know I can't force him to do things that to him are impossible right now.
"IVORY"
"I'm here what's wrong?"
"It's picture day today and we are going to be late"
I looked at Aria and took a deep breath before helping them get ready and fixing their hairs, mum always dealt with this stuff, she knew exactly when every event was happing she prepared weeks before for things like school pictures and birthday party's. I guess that's down to me now, as I finished the Aria's hair I could hear dads alarm going off for the 3rd time since I woke up. This alarm was his last chance to get up before he was late and if he was late one more time he would be fired, he needs this job, we need him to keep this job. I made him a coffee and put his meds on the counter with a note before grabbing the kids bags and my keys and heading out of the door.