desiderium | t. riddle

xiii. epithet effect

"Eva? Who the hell came up with that?" Laurent wore an almost comical expression of deep disturbance on his face.

"I guess I di—" Evangeline began uncertainly but was cut off promptly by Laurent, who had begun to pace in a manner reminiscent of a businessperson who had just been presented with a very difficult problem to tackle.

"It just won't do. Too simple, too boring, too predictable, where is the bloody je ne sais quoi???" He took to making flamboyant arm movements to convey the distress he felt at the three-letter nickname. Abraxas slipped his hands underneath his green and black robes to find his pockets and moved deftly to Evangeline's side, turning them into a small audience to Laurent's spirited tirade.

Eva could practically hear the amused smirk in the Slytherin's voice as he whispered, still facing his ranting friend, to her, "He's very dramatic. The outcome is usually funny enough to be worthy of the pain that comes with enduring the theatrics, though, so stick through it."

She hummed in response and watched as Laurent continued his pacing, murmuring shorter variations of Evangeline's name to himself and shaking his head vigorously at each one, including the more tame ones such as 'Evan,' as well as the more intriguing ones like 'Evanesco,' until finally—

"Aha!" All signs of (possibly staged) tension left the dark-skinned boy's face as he raised a finger into the air triumphantly.

This outburst earned him a mildly stern look and an indignant, "Really now, Rosier, m'boy!" from Slughorn, to which he responded with an "oops, sorry professor," accompanied unabashedly by a cheeky wink to convey the sheer insincerity behind his apology.

Lowering his voice in a way he must have believed added suspense to his words, Laurent spoke again. "After much consideration, I, the renowned Monsieur Rosier, have decided that the optimum nickname for Madamoiselle Serpens is..."

He closed his eyes pridefully and drew himself up to his full and glorious, though rather underwhelming height of five feet and nine inches (or, as Laurent would argue, five feet and nine and a very prominent half inches) to announce the much contemplated name. However, after a few moments of silence, a single eye cracked open and the silence was broken by a clearing of Laurent's throat, eliciting a noise of understanding from Abraxas.

The blonde began to drumroll on his thighs and raised his eyebrows at Evangeline in a noiseless request that she do the same. At her acquiescence, Laurent closed the odd eye again and smiled with a satisfied sigh.

"Jelly!"

The sound of Evangeline's hands pattering against her thighs immediately ceased as she sent the boy a deadpan glare. The silence was filled quickly with Abraxas' uncharacteristically loud laughs, prompting Laurent to immediately swoop down into a low bow and princess-wave around at a nonexistent audience.

"Abraxas, you promised me that if I stuck through it, I'd be rewarded with humor."  She raised her brows, trying to communicate how genuinely unimpressed she was, though her lips had to fight away a small smile at the ridiculously exuberant pair.

The boy regained his composition just enough to grin and raise his hands in apology, shoulders still shaking slightly as he regarded his dark-skinned friend fondly.

"Please tell me that's not actually the name you spent a whole one and a half minutes crafting."

Laurent nodded sincerely at her to confirm that yes, the name of a condiment truly was the fruit of his ostentatious labor. "Nothing else really resonated with me quite as much as 'Jelly.' It's perfect," he insisted firmly.

"I don't know, mate, I think I heard you consider 'Evanesco'? That one has a nice ring to it, too."

Evangeline rolled her eyes at Abraxas when he chimed in to play along, while Laurent's eyes lit up further at his friend's cue for elaboration on his choice of nickname.