Eternal Love (MewGulf AU)

🌻Chapter 30

Gulf interrupted him, having no time to spare for AA's sense of humor. "I need your assistance. I want you to get me back to Thailand."

AA shrugged at his request. He went back to the sofa and put his cigar to his lips, then re-lit it with a languid gesture. "Why? Don't you want to stay in Madina? It's much nicer here than Thailand."

The man's completely indifferent and tactless manner irritated Gulf. He had thought that AA would treat this a little more seriously. AA was, afrer all, Mew's cousin and second on line for the throne of Madina.

"That's not the issue," he snapped. "Please don't be so flippant about this."

"It wasn't meant as a joke," he said carefully. "You should just let him put you in a cage, pretty bird. This is Mew we're talking about. I'm sure he would even give you a separate house of your own, if you wanted. He isn't the sort of man to give something up halfway once he's made up his mind to have it."

"You can't be serious," Gulf cried out, annoyed.

"Mew's serious, at least," AA retorted.

The way the man threw Mew's name around caused a sharp pain to shoot through Gulf, as if something was piercing his heart. It didn't matter if Mew was serious or not. All that mattered was the reality staring them in the face.

"Or are you saying you don't want to be with Mew anymore?"

AA's question came to him wreathed in smoke.

"No. i don't," he answered coldly. "I want to go home as soon as possible."

AA searched Gulf's face, not taking his eyes off him. "So your passion has cooled," he finally said.

Gulf couldn't answer. He knew better than anyone how little his feelings had changed.

If he was away from Mew, his longing might grow stronger. That was what made Mew desire him now even more than before, and made it impossible for him to resist Mew. But that was all the more reason to get away as soon as he could. The longer he stayed with Mew, the harder it would be to leave him.

"What passion?" he asked.

'There had never been any' was what he wanted AA to believe. He pulled a smile across his lips. He tried hard not to look too self-pitying.

But he was no longer sure that what he felt was love. Shouldn't love be warmer, more peaceful? He didn't think he had ever felt peaceful toward Mew.

When he'd first met him, he had felt lust like a raging fever. He had never imagined that such a fiercely sweet emotion could exist inside him until that moment.

"In 10-days, the marriage and coronation will take place. This will be the biggest event in Madina in the last six years. And the entire world is watching. So it's too late. The responsibility borne by a king is very different from that of a prince, and so is the amount of attention he has to weather," AA told Gulf calmly, as if he needed to explain the situation for him.

There was pity on the man's face and Gulf turned his eyes to the purple smoke curling up from the man's cigar.

If he tried to speak, it would just be more painful. He knew that they just had to hurry.

"If you're prepared," AA said, breaking off into a sigh. "Prepared to never see each other again in this life, I'll send you back to Thailand. It would be a lot of work, but I'm confident that my name will get the job done."

To never see each other again in this life---AA's words stung him. He had always known that if he went back to Thailand, he would probably never see Mew again. But hearing someone esle say it made the reality hang heavily over him.

To never again see Mew, whose warmth and breath he still felt on his skin---just imagining it made his fingers go cold.

To live once again as he had the last six years: unable to forget, though he wanted to; unable to cry, though he wanted to; pushing away theb onging he felt inside him. He would do all that, and then spend his time acting like he had moved on. Closing off his memories, one by one.

It was agonizing work. It broke his heart just to think about those times, and now he had to do it all over again.

"Well?" AA prodded.

Gulf forced a deep breath past the knot of his throat. It was all right. He was doing the right thing. If he floundered now, his regrets would destroy him. He told himself all the things he was supposed to, then nodded.

"I won't see him," he said as firmly as he could. "Ever again."

"All right." AA nodded and stood up from the sofa. He rested a hand on Gulf's shoulder and forced a smile. "In the meantime, you'll come to accept the reality of that."

"AA..."

"Because you have to," AA said, gazing past him into the empty air.

Gulf looked at him. Feeling strangely uncomfortable.

AA and Mew were nothing alike, despite the fact that they were cousin. Being next in line to the throne after Mew, Gulf knew that AA must have suffered in a way no one else could understand. His position in the world wouldn't satisfy anyone, even if he was blessed by wealth and status.

TBC