pastel promises

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i want a house that color,

i had stated pointing to a pretty pastel blue house.

oooo or maybe that one,

pointing again to another pastel house,

yellow this time.

she laughed,

leaning into my shoulder.

we'll paint our house all the colors you could ever dream of.

a promise.

one i thought she would,

could,

keep.

and a red front door!

i reminded her.

she just laughed again,

voice fluttering over my skin,

and assured me we could have a door any color i wanted.

her hands were soft 

and smooth and 

utterly familiar in mine

as i asked her

well where do you want to live?

i asked her then.

she looked up at the sky,

as if she could see us twenty years from now.

far away from here.

far away from her fathers shouts 

and her moms orders and 

so many empty bottles.

my fingers traced little figure eight's on her knuckles

we will escape.

i promised her that.

we would make it out of this town.

maybe drive away in the car we planned to get.

but she left.

and now there's no more future plans.

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