Darling - Cedric Diggory

35

A silence falls over the room the second I enter.

"We will all give you guys some space," aunty Lily speaks quickly, pulling Harry and Draco along with her as the twins lead her out of the living room.

My dad sits with a sad look on his face and his fingers twirling together aimlessly.

"Cup of tea?" I question quietly, he nods in response, still not looking at me and I exit into the kitchen, returning two minutes later with two mugs of tea.

"Thanks," he smiles up politely, shuffling back on the sofa so I can sit on the other end, cross legged and whole body facing me.

"I didn't mean to snap at her," I mumble, the guilt flooding my bones

"I don't care," he cuts off my explanation, making me feel so much worse. I should have tried harder, should have seen that this would make him happy, shouldn't have been so selfish

"Dad, I'm so sorry, if you want to be with her-"

"What?" He looks up with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows

"She's the love of your life and I-" I stop when his familiar laughter rings through the air.

"No, no kid, I don't care that you snapped at her. I just was so worried, you locked yourself in your room and I didn't know what to do. Practically pulled my hair out,"

"Ced mentioned," I  admit with a small smile, the weight and guilt suddenly less heavy in my chest.

"Bet he did, snake in the grass that boy," Dad jokes with  a smile "Now, tell me what's going on in that  head of yours because I'll be honest princess, I can't figure you out on this one,"

It was rare. My dad always knew what I was thinking from one look on my face.

"I hate her. I hate that she acted like she had any right to parent me. I hate that she felt like she had authority to talk about my life. I hate that she left,"

"All of that is perfectly understandable," dad assures, his hand reaching out to rest on my knee comfortingly.

"I know that I was an accident and no one should have to bring up a kid if they aren't ready. No one should have a kid if they don't want it. I shouldn't be mad but-"

"Em, I wasn't ready, not for a minute. I was 18 and scared and I had no clue what to do. The first night I showed up crying to your grandma's house cause I didn't know how to change your nappy. Doesn't mean I didn't want you. Doesn't mean you aren't the best thing to ever happen to me. You have a right to be angry that she left you,"

"I just feel so guilty," I admit, his eyebrows raising and concern pooling in his eyes.

"For what?"

"You. You gave up everything for me,"

"You didn't ask me to do that. I wanted to. I'm so beyond glad I did. I never, ever want you to feel guilty for that," he assures, his hand squeezing my knee gently.

"But that's the whole thing. You never complain you never do anything wrong. You're the best dad on the planet. I always say I would do anything for you, and I thought I meant it, I do, I do mean it. Yet here's your chance to have the woman you love back and I'm here being so caught up in my anger that I can't just be happy for you,"

"Oh kid," he sighs, pausing for a moment before letting out a deep breath "I need to be honest with you. Your mother didn't reach out to me. I reached out to her. I know how much you love Lil and Minnie and Molly. You deserve a mother of your own, your mother. I'd give you anything on the planet, you know this, but I couldn't give you that. I just, well I wanted to fix it,"

His words make me feel even worse and yet 1000 times better.

"Dad, I'm so grateful. I really am. But I don't want her, Christ, you're the best parent in the world and I've always been so lucky and so loved and I never ever needed her. Not when I had you. I have everything I need,"

"I can't be a mother," he smirks, a much lighter tone in his voice

"I don't want you to be. I just want you to be happy, if you love her I'm sure when the ange-"

"Emily, I haven't loved her in years. I don't want to be with her, not even for a second, I just wanted to give you a mum,"

"Thank god, cause dad she is a bitch," I smile, he laughs a little at that

"She is. She was pretty though," he shrugs in explanation making me roll my eyes, he wraps his arm around me  in a tight hug, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.

"I love you kid,"

"I love you too dad,"

The twins come tumbling in followed by the others, as expected, they clearly were all listening from outside.

"You ready to stop being a miserable arse?" Fred questions, a teasing glint in his eyes.

"Just about," I agree with a laugh, allowing him to pull me up from the sofa and into his side, pressing a comforting kiss to the side of my head.

"Great cause we wanna play quidditch," Draco informs.

"I'm playing! Bags on Draco!" Dad cheers jumping up

"I want uncle James," I call, the group heading out into the humid summer heat.