KNEE SOCKS - jacob bertrand

𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘝𝘌.

garfunkel
i grew up w leo

simon
oh right lol

simon
but less talk about me and xolo
okay

garfunkel
SO YOU ADMIT IT

garfunkel

simon
no <3

simon
let's instead discuss you and jacob
and what seems to be a blossoming
relationship that i will def never third
wheel

garfunkel
fallon thompson

garfunkel
when i tell you this boy lights up
a whole room

garfunkel
i don't tell a single lie

simon
charles you met him for
like 4 hours

garfunkel

garfunkel
hey lady

garfunkel
in dog years that's like your entire 20's

garfunkel
you're straightphobic

simon
charlie.... you're bi

garfunkel
fuck you're right

garfunkel
every once in a while when i find a
single man attractive for like two
seconds i forget the fact that i have
an emma watson shrine

simon
OKAY BACK TO TOPIC PLS

garfunkel
okay remember when we first met in
seventh grade?

simon
when you shared your capri-sun
with me at lunch?

simon
and then i got herpes??

garfunkel
it was a cold sore calm down

garfunkel
but after that moment we began to build
our beautiful friendship,
and here we are!

simon
yup 8 million years later and we
still haven't argued or started a world
war

garfunkel
oh to be franz ferdinand 😔

garfunkel
but honestly, meeting jacob
gave me that similar feeling

garfunkel
meeting people isn't an easy feat for me
and it just so happened that we clicked

garfunkel
oh my god am i a SIMP???

garfunkel
everything i just said sounds so fucking
nasty you have full jurisdiction to kill me

simon
president of simp nation ma'am

simon
i've never seen you so excited about
a man before

simon
and wow it's a
good thing i have watched all the
cop-ganda shows available and now
have murder tools
#america

garfunkel
i hate how much i love criminal minds
and brooklyn nine-nine

simon
succumb to the sexiness of reid and
peralta

garfunkel
pelvic sorcery 😡

simon
my little personal gamora😍

simon
ok but are we sure jacob's not a
male escort 🤨

garfunkel
he watches star wars idec if he
likes cabbage at this point he's kinda
perfect

simon
if he did like cabbage i
would perform a citizen's arrest

garfunkel
i'll bring my fluffy handcuffs

simon
what

garfunkel
what

simon
i'm gonna pretend i have
no eyeballs

simon
we WILL be discussing the insta
comment flirting as soon as i get
home though

garfunkel
so interesting i actually have
to go rob multiple banks later

garfunkel
my voicemail is readily available
for that convo doe

simon
think of how mad hotch would be to
hear you're a bank robber

garfunkel
somehow it would add to
my ever growing superiority
complex anyways

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my manip is ass but pls don't steal it a girl worked hard on it LMAO

FULL BLOWN COP SHOW ridicule in this chapter but i can't help that someone put literal crack into investigation shows

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS,,, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH <333

EDIT: 6,000 reads how can i thank y'all thank you x377589

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