beautiful - harry potter

chapter 30

"I've lived through so much shit and there is so much dark shit replaying in my mind every single night. Do you know what that's like? I just keep seeing everyone dying right in front of me and I can't even bloody control it!" Harry vented. 

"I went through hell and I was still willing to jump off my fucking broom for you! And you can't even sit here and pretend that you fancy me, for just- for just one second! So, if you're not going to be nice for just a single day, then I give up! You can leave this pub and you can never come back and I wouldn't even bother you anymore because there is no point in loving someone who's never going to love me back!!"

Thalia sent the boy a tight smile and pushed her cup forward. She stood up and Harry realized that she was actually going to leave. "Wait, no," Harry mumbled while grabbing her hand. "I was, um, I was only kidding. I'd still chase you if you leave now so please just sit down."

"Potter, you just gave me the option of freedom. I'm not going to say no to freedom so let go of me," Thalia huffed, trying to shake his hand off. 

"No, please stay," Harry begged. "The option for freedom is gone, pretend like it disappeared."

"The door is right there," the brunette said, nodding towards the door. "I am going to leave happily and you are going to let me."

"If you stay and this date goes awful if you try to pretend to like me, then I'll stop pestering you. I promise," Harry pleaded. "I'll stop asking you out during breakfast or during classes and I'll even stop asking Neville to do it for me."

"You promise?"

"Y-yes, I promise." Harry knew he looked desperate right now, so desperate that it was just pathetic to watch, but love made him do crazy things. Thalia just thought it was desperation but Harry believed that he loved her, though neither of them could know for sure yet.

-----

Harry and Thalia were walking around the school grounds. Harry had his arm wrapped around Thalia's waist and it was a surprise that Thalia let it stay there, but Harry didn't comment about it.

They finally reached the dungeons, which Harry always found dingy and disgusting. The torches were small, providing less light, and there were no windows or visible sunlight. The walls had cracks in the bricks and the floors were grimy.

The dungeons were possibly the least sanitary place in all of Hogwarts, less sanitary than the kitchens where the house elves were. Everyone seemed to have a hatred for Slytherins, even the headmaster.

"Well, this has been fun but I really hope it never happens again," Thalia said cheerily, removing Harry's arm from her. She didn't really mean it but it came off as a truth. She would never confess to anyone that she actually had a good date with Harry Potter, a half-blood Gryffindor. 

"What? I don't understand," Harry blubbered. "This was our first official date and I thought it went pretty well."

"Good for you," the brunette said sarcastically. 

"I don't understand," Harry repeated. "We just spent 4 hours together and you're telling me you felt absolutely nothing?"

"No, I felt like I wanted to punch you," Thalia replied swiftly, "but for both of our sake, I didn't bring my thoughts to life."

"B-but what about our kiss two weeks ago?" 

"We were drunk," Thalia answered with a blank face. "Drunk people do stupid things."

"Drunk people do what they can't do while they're sober," the bespectacled boy corrected.

"Well, then it's a good thing I'm sober right now."

Harry wasn't sure why Thalia kept deflecting him and he didn't know why Thalia didn't want to continue dating him. He knew that he would keep his word and he would stay away from her, since he'd promised. But he still needed to do something, to make sure that what he was feeling wasn't just one-sided.

Harry desperately grabbed Thalia's hands to prevent her from walking away and he rubbed the backs of her hands with the side of his thumb. "Don't be a weirdo, Potter," Thalia warned.

Harry's soft doe eyes searched hers frantically, as if he was looking for her eyes to speak and say something like, 'I love you' when her eyes were so blank and clouded over. 

"I fancy you," Harry stated. "And I fancy you for you, not for your looks or your wealth or your blood. I fancy you because I see you."

He wanted to yell out that he loved her but he knew that it would scare her, so he opted for a confession. Harry paused and he didn't know what kind of answer he was expecting, but he just wanted her to say something.

"Every guy fancies me," Thalia commented dully. "You're not special, Harry."

"I'm not saying that I'm special, I'm saying that I'm the only guy to take action upon my words," he responded smoothly. "Because even after Malfoy and I had our little fight, I still fancy you and I still want you back. I had 7 broken bones and I wore a cast for weeks. And I'd do it all again, I'd go through all the pain again if it meant that you would date me. Hell, I'd do it all again if it meant that you'd snog me."

"Don't be an idiot, Harry," Thalia scoffed, clearly not believing any of the words spewing out of his mouth. She pulled her hands away and walked the other way.

Harry watched her figure get more and more distant by the second. "I'd do it!" Harry called after her. "You'll see!"