Call of Duty : Incorrect Quotes

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What if... The villains of Call of Duty Modern Warfare Trilogy and Black Ops gather around in a pub? Well, here's my silly incorrect quote and I hope you enjoy them!! 

Makarov, smirking devilishly : I'm the most powerful of you all, I committed a massacre and evoked World War 3 to happen because one of my crewmates turned out to be an American. I'm also the most popular of you guys because a lot of girls, including those who are reading this book apparently love me for my looks.

Menendez: *shows off his Twitter page coyly* I wanted to start a world revolution and my social media have many followers because Cordis Die is the best so follow my social media for clear skin, and you won't regret this at all!

Dragovich: I weaponized Nova 6 and brainwashed many Americans into my lovely sleeper agents, while also tried to make Mason kill that Kennedy svoloch.

Perseus: Speaking of brainwashing, the main protagonist of my game was also my right-hand guy who apparently got brainwashed by the CIA to turn on me, but I'd be thankful if the agent stayed loyal to me despite the brainwashing.

Zakhaev: Don't worry, Victor and I ruled the Russian Ultranationalists and I was considered a hero by my own country. *pats his son's head*

Al-Asad: Excuse me? I executed Al-Fulani in live television and overthrew his foolish government with my powerful men until a man with a boonie hat beat me after my successful coup!

V. Zakhaev, sipping his Starbucks cup: Dad, thank you for being the best even though Mommy is very disappointed with us all.

Steiner, holding up a Nova 6 gas sample tube: Well I created Nova 6 so please credit me for it, Nikita!

Kravchenko: Put aside your petty self, German. I am truly a great eye doctor because now Grigori Weaver's mouth can't be any more cornea.

Menendez: You definitely are. *sniffs* I guess losing an eye means that there is more that meets the eye. Hashtag, eye puns are the best because I lost my eye and I can't relate more.

Perseus, confused: Does anyone wonder why my agent is always paired with a sunglasses wearing blonde guy with fabulous hair by the Internet's humans?

Makarov: I have no idea, fellow Russian. I've seen many more pairing themselves with me, even though I'm dangerous and good looking unlike that Dragobitch guy.

Dragovich: It's Dragovich. *slams hands on table, making everyone jump*

V. Zakhaev: That sounds weird, at least I'm not like the other girls.

Al-Asad: Wait a second, I just realized that a lot of you here were Russians and-

Makarov: Don't discriminate us by our nationalities, I don't even know why many Russians are bad in this franchise.

Steiner, smoking on his cigar: At least you weren't killed by a crazy Mason who claimed he's Viktor Reznov or whoever he is.

Kravchenko: *snorts* Pfft, yeah.

Zakhaev: Settle down, comrades. We are villains indeed, everyone hates us for being bad except for Makarov but I'm proud of you guys for not being this hateable like this guy right here.

*moves aside to reveal a humiliated Shepherd who's wearing a diaper and his signature beret, while holding a sign that says "I am a horrible and selfish so-called war hero who is hated by the whole CoD fandom for killing Roach and Ghost"*

Shepherd, huffing in anger: Don't laugh at me, bastards.

Everyone: *bursts into laughter*

QOTD: Who's your favorite CoD villain? Mine is Makarov ofc, but lemme hear your thoughts abt your favorite villain, and also them being silly (and referencing the real world)!