"Bro,, that sounds smart,, that's hot." The chair doesn't have an expression because, obviously, it lacks a face. but you could tell it would have a slightly puzzled but interested face. You start feeling around the chair to see if anything was there that you hadn't noticed. While touching near the area your fat buttocks would normally reside, you feel a cylinder like shape, your mind starts to wonder, what the fuck could this be. You take another look but there's still nothing there. You reach for the area once again but you hear the chair yell out. "Don't touch that that's my puthy tearer giganourmous meat staff</3😰😰😨😨" Your mind starts to piece it together, did you just touch a ghosts dick.... if so, why the fuck is it solid. You are trying to make sense of the situation, you pinch your arm once again- nope, still feels like shit. What the actual fuck have you gotten yourself into. "Shawty😕😕sorry to break it to you. That's not a giganormous meat staff that's half a slim Jim,, this is not giving me big dick realness😃..." The chair goes silent. For at least five minutes- the lobby stayed completely silent apart from your snickering. Had you really hurt his ego that bad?? You can't relate to his pain because you are so awfully swag no one would pull any bullshit like this on you. Survival of the fittest bitch. You look at the chair waiting for a response. And finally it says something back. "I have feelings you whore,,,that wasn't very pogchamp of you babe" Luckily this fucker doesn't have a face, he would be trying to make you guilty by now. You start to wonder, if he doesn't have a face- where the hell is the sound coming from??? The sound being it speaking that is. "Bestie,, how the fuck are we even communicating at the moment??? Telepathy?? Can you read my mind or something??" "Ummm I have no idea it's magic I guess?" "Hm. Hot" Fuck his shitty mannerisms are getting to you. You two try and see if you have anything to bond over since he doesn't know how to get out of the chair neither does he want to. and you don't want to get rid of a chair you've had for so many years, that shit expensive. You two ended up talking for a while, you talked about common interests you somehow had, even though he was quite the literal old soul. "-and so yea that's why my mum hates me" "So true bestie,, you know umm- I think we get along quite well ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" The chair- well, maybe you should call him by his name since you know it. Faggot coochie destroyah 5000 makes the chair shift a bit, and makes it face you. Ever since you've really gotten to know him, he seems so alluring,,,,,, he 'looks' at you from the chair. You question why you're feeling like this. You decide to get closer to the chair as your heart wanted you to, you look were you had imagined It's eyes would be if it had any and you lean in, kissing its soft, fabric material. The chair moves away slightly, "W-what do you think y-you're doing!!!!!..B-BAKA!!!!" You lean in again to kiss him once more, you kiss his smooth wooden framing gently. But this time, he doesn't move away as he melts into the kiss.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
You two make out for exactly 69 hours and 420 minutes. You pull away to catch your breath. The chair shyly takes a deep breathe and looks up at you. Faggot coochie destroyah 5000 asks you with a soft voice. "Y/n after spending 69 hours and 420 minutes making out with you, I've realized that you have the fattest, juiciest, most big dumptruck ass I've ever seen. I don't know how to ask you this, but- do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" The question took you aback but at the end the chair knew what you would answer. "Faggot coochie destroyah 5000-kun !!! Id love to- please allow me to sit on you for the rest of my time !!!!" You and the chair spent the rest of your time together till your dying breaths.
