Life is like a Hallmark movie

Dean goes home

Dean had brushed his teeth, fixed hair, and just started to pull his gown off when the nurse Zeke entered.

"Hiya, Zeke." Dean smiled, his excitement at being released to go home palpable.

"I have all your completed paperwork for your discharge. I just need you to sign three things, and then I'll assist you with putting on your street clothes."

"Woohoo! I can't wait to get out of here!" Dean hooted. "I have to say, you were pretty much the best part of my stay here. Really." He looked directly at Ezekiel. "Thank you, man, for taking care of me the way you did. Pulling me out of one of my panic anxiety attacks the way you did....Then, the...the..."

Dean was trying to find the words, but could not. What he wanted to say was something like, 'thanks for saving my dignity when I peed all over myself and the floor,' but he couldn't get the words to pass his lips. He could feel the anxiety and accompanying shame rising as his cheeks flushed. He struggled to form the words again, because, dammit, a soldier, a man, should be able to speak a simple 'thank you.'

"Say nothing more. It's..." Zeke began when Dean interrupted him.

"No. I don't want to hear the usual it's all a part of your job. You went above and beyond for me, and I want...I need.... to...you" Dean ran his fingers through his hair and put his head down taking ragged breaths. "Damn. Dammit." He whispered to himself.

His breaths came faster and more ragged. He rocked back and forth slightly as he tried to control his breathing and halt the coming panic he knew was inevitable.

"I just need Miracle. I just need my dog." Dean rubbed his hands over his beard and face roughly, taking deep quick breaths.

Ezekiel put down the bag of clothes Adam had told him he put in the room's closet for Dean to wear home. He walked over to the bed and put his hand on Dean's.

"Breathe. That's it. Your brother told me you have a service dog."

Dean's breath came a bit faster and more desperate. "Yeah. I don't know why..." he tried to take another deep breath, but failed. It was shallow and quick. "I don't know why that doctor wouldn't let me have him in here. It's just...it's wrong!" He sat forward trying to catch a breath.

"I swear...that Dr. NoWay rubs me...the...wrong...the wrong...way every...time I...I s-see him..."

Ezekiel leaned forward and gently, but firmly placed his open left palm on Dean's chest.

"Ok, sir. Let's breathe. Shhhh. Shhh. It's OK." Ezekiel rubbed his right arm up and down making hushing sounds. while he pulsed his open palm slowly on Dean's naked chest, in time to what should be Dean's normal rate of breathing.

"Yes. Focus on the breaths. That's all you need to think about right now. Breathe. Yes. Feel your lungs fill with the air. " The nurse kept pulsing his palm on his patient's chest, encouraging his breath to deepen and slow.

As Ezekiel sensed Dean relax, he spoke softly, "I was going to say it is part of my job, but more than that, it is part of humanity to ensure dignity for everyone, whether it is part of my job or not. And I'd say, 'think nothing of it', but I'd rather all men, all people thought of it, and returned the favor to everyone they meet who may or may not be struggling. We never know what another's personal struggles are, and compassion, dignity, and humanity can be a rare and precious thing to one who is struggling."

Ezekiel slowly removed his hand from Dean's chest, smiling and nodding at the normal rise and fall as his breathing had returned to normal.