there is this hollowness inside me that eats me and i can't get rid of it no matter how much i try.
i twirl my thoughts, lead them astray. maybe to shove that emptiness back, back where the monsters of mine hide. back where they're all stacked together, swimming in a sea of despair and sorrow and anger and a thousand unknown feelings.
my fingernails are scratched, the rolls on my stomach i desperately try to hide (my claims of not caring about my body are refuted by the silent cries while looking in the mirror), the intensity behind my eyes shushing itself to make room for the small smile that tugs on my lips in front of others.
my chin wobbles, yet the tears never spill. eyes of mine wide shut, exploring myself but getting lost along the way. hands frozen around my neck, where bloody scratches form and my skin glows with the reddish tinge of the liquid once cursing through my veins.
i am a dead man walking.
there is no life in me. the shadows below my eyes darken everyday, along with my once honey brown eyes now the colour of a black ink pool. my soul doesn't rest, but it brews new ways to take life away from me. eyes don't hold anything behind it. empty, dark hallways without any light switches is what they resemble.
i am a dead man walking.
*****
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