Moving Forward

Reflection

Its been sometime after that beef with Langa. To me Langa is always amazing, whether its his skating or in anything he does. After haven seen him skate that first time against Shadow, I've always known that he was on a different level then me, that we don't see the same things, but I still wanted to remain by side and I thought that he had wanted me there. I was mistaken.

When we kissed that night under the moonlight, I thought it meant he felt the same way about me, but it seems that he had just played with me, or why else would he had skated with ADAM shortly after. I left S, for a while shortly afterward trying to get better, to get the same level as Langa, to show him that I can skate by his side. But I didn't expect him to accept ADAM's condition.

If I lost, the Langa would stay with ADAM, Langa chose to accept that condition knowing that he skates at a different level then me. Both Langa and ADAM knew that I skated differently then them, so ADAM's condition was reasonable, but what broke me was that Langa accepted with the high chance that he would stay with ADAM.

Leading up to the day of the beef, all I could think was that Langa never knew that I was practicing with Miya and the others, as far as he knew I was at the same level as before. Yet he took the condition. This filled me with determination, thinking that he had belief, that I would be able to win.

I was utterly wrong. I had always admired Langa, I loved him and I believed that he had loved me, yet here we are, skating against each other with all we got, I skate to set him free and he is skating with the purpose of staying in ADAM's clasp. As I watched him get ahead, I realized that he doesn't want to leave. Langa wants to stay with ADAM. Eventually, I arrived at the finish and as langa questioned me, all I could do was laugh. He chose this and if this is what he wants, then what can I do. I left S that day feeling hollow and not looking back.

"Babe, you ok?"

I smiled as I looked at my boyfriend. It took sometime, but I getting better and making a life for myself. I grabbed my skateboard and looked ahead,

"yeah I'm fine, come on lets go or we'll be late and I really don't want to hear them complain about being late."

He took my hand as we walked to the coffee shop where Miya and Shadow were waiting.

*This was inspired by sins by Anonymous on archive of our own.