TW
MENTIONS OF PILLS
SELFHARM
CUSRE WORDS
Dobengal's POV
I groaned as I got up from my bed,my back was aching in pain but I tried to ignore it. I go inside the bathroom to see my hair is a complete mess. I sigh and grab a towel and a change of clothes. I turned on the faucet and it was burning hot but I didn't care. I soon stepped in the water,it began to burn my flesh,but I didn't care,I just wanted the feeling of hatred and self pity to leave me and go away,but no of course I couldn't get away from the guilt of yelling at her and shooing her away. I hate myself and everytime I look at something we used to do together it breaks my heart and makes me cry in pain. I stepped out of the water,my shoulder had blisters on them,blood oozing out of them I looked at my chest to see burn marks,they hurt like a bitch. But I deserved this and dried myself off and changed my clothing and stepped out of the bathroom.
I glance around my room and see my guitar,shit,me and her used to always sing songs together.. I miss having her here,maybe singing our favorite song will make me feel better. I chuckle at my stupidity,all it would do is bring back painful memories but,I'll play anyway
I rushed over to where my guitar is and picked it up and got into position and began to play.
"We used to dream,we used to name the stars. Tracing futures lying in the dark" I sung my veins began to pump
"They said we'd never last.The brightest flame burns fast. We say words. We don't talk anymore"
I begin to tear up at the words 'they said we'd never last,and the brightest flames burn out' she was the flame that had burned out. This was one of her favorite songs for us to sing.
"Tonight we're growing closer,closer to the end. Were we fools for each other. Or fools for falling in?"
Tears began to flow out as I sung my vocal cords felt dry,it felt so painful,it felt like they were engulfed in flames. It felt like acid was running through my body yet,I still kept singing through the pain
"Are we looking at forever? 'Cause I don't see it in your eyes. Have you had enough or do we try again? The glass was half full when we stopped pouring in"
I coughed through choked sobs the lyrics I wrote for me and her stuck with me and it hurts
"So Just Say When..!" I yelled as my sobs became louder by the second,my eyes stung from the tears flowing out. I threw the guitar at the bed,gently and gripped my throat. It was burning like the flames of hell.
"Ngnh! Damn! This pain! It won't leave me!" I cried as I banged my fist against the wall "Where the hell are my painkillers!" I yelled in thought. My throat was burning by the second. My vision became blurry and hazy. I soon reached the medicine case and grabbed my pills and shoveled them down my throat choking slightly,I took them dry.
I soon reached the counter and got up,my legs were shaking,and my whole body throbs in pain,I felt sick to my stomach,I soon cough. I held my mouth with my hand and I felt a warm liquid run down my hand,I looked at it,it was a bloody red color,I soon cough more and more I rush to where my phone is,I had to tell her I'm sorry,I know I'm going to die I known it,all I want before I die is to hear her voice,I dialed her number and surprisingly she picked up
"Dobengal! Please I'm sorry- ''''No,please let me say something,ngh,don't be sorry and I want to say I ack! Is,I l-l-love you.. And just want to hear your voice.. One More Time.."
