Shelby shows up right when she said she would and Toni's already prepared to pull her inside and press her against the nearest wall when she opens the door, but Shelby's holding what looks like takeout and Toni just winds up staring at her instead, wondering what the fuck she's doing.
"Are you hungry?" Shelby asks her, and Toni realizes she hasn't eaten today. It's weirdly thoughtful of Shelby, Toni lets herself think, but she doesn't want to linger on it.
She scarfs the food down mostly to avoid making conversation with Shelby, who she still doesn't really like very much even if she sort of understands her a little better now, because the praying and the refusal to curse and the whole goody-two-shoes routine all seem to be genuine so far, secret attraction to girls aside. Their whatever-it-is, which might be the only thing she likes about Shelby, seems to be a slight detour from the path that is Shelby's personality rather than an indicator of some whole other secret road to someone Toni might actually get along with.
Shelby doesn't offer much in the way of conversation either, thankfully, and Toni finishes eating first and then sits back and watches her. They're on the living room floor together with the television off, and there's not much else to distract herself with. Shelby slurps the last bit of a noodle into her mouth and it swings around a little and sauce splashes off of it, leaving a spot on her cheek. "That's so hot," Toni snarks, and Shelby looks around for the napkins and doesn't meet her eyes. "So, are you gonna admit that you came here to get laid or nah?"
Shelby colors behind the napkin she's using to wipe at her cheek and stutters, "That's—I thought you shouldn't be alone on Christmas—"
"It's the 21st," Toni deadpans. "Also, we can't stand each other, so you definitely didn't come here to fucking hang out and talk out of holiday pity, Shelby."
"I brought food, for eating," Shelby tries half-heartedly, and Toni laughs genuinely at that, hoping Shelby meant it to be as funny and pathetic as it sounded and that she's laughing with her instead of at her. Shelby purses her lips to suppress a smile and Toni feels relieved.
"Can't you just say it?" Toni asks.
"I don't know how to talk about that stuff," Shelby admits. "It's not—I was taught it's not very ladylike. Not that I should be with anyone other than my husband, anyway, but obviously that ship sailed a few months ago."
Toni stares hard at her, an uncomfortable flutter in her stomach, because that timeline checks out with Fatin's party. "Because of Andrew?" she asks hopefully, and Shelby suddenly looks somewhere between a deer caught in headlights and a prisoner being interrogated.
"We don't have to talk about that," she mumbles, and Toni sits up straighter and looks Shelby up and down, really studying her.
"The party wasn't your first time having sex," she insists, more to herself than to Shelby. Shelby won't look at her. "Shelby. Was it?"
"Does it really matter?"
"Yes, it fucking matters. It really fucking matters, Shelby." She pauses, her stomach dropping, when Shelby still refuses to deny it. "Who else have you slept with?" she asks, shifting the goalposts, and again Shelby doesn't respond, just looks at her and then looks away.
In hindsight, Toni would later think, this shit was probably a huge fucking neon sign that everything was going to wind up fucked up one way or another.
She looks at the food anew, taken aback, and asks, "Okay, Shelby, what the fuck is this?"
"Would you relax?" Shelby finally bites out, and Toni listens for once. "Nothin's changed. I'm just only doin' this with you. There's nothin' wrong with that, Toni." Toni opens her mouth to argue but Shelby goes on anyway, "Do you want me to tell you you're not special? Would that help? You already know too much, so can you just shut up and stop pushing? You already know how I feel."
Chapter 3
Start from the beginning
