Awakenings: Joanna

Good Night

I was vaguely aware of her opening my front door and walking me to my couch. I don't remember much about the trip outside, other than all the cold and all the wet. We were both drenched; I think my dress is just ruined and my jacket will dry for weeks. Kat lowered me to my coach and stood in front of it, catching her breath. She was completely drenched as well. Her long blonde hair hung in wet clumps, her makeup was running and her clothes were completely wet. Somehow she still managed to look absolutely stunning. She looked around and walked to the kitchen. I heard her opening a few cupboards, then heard the tap running. She came back with a big glass of water and put it on the table next to me.

"Drink this," she said. "It'll make you feel better, trust me." I looked at her and sit up properly. I smiled weakly at her and took a big sip from the water. It was fresh and cold and it felt good to drink. Somehow, even after all that, my throat felt dry, and the water helped immensely.

"Thank you," I said quietly. "And sorry for everything. I'm fine now", I added. I didn't want her to worry. I don't know why, but it made me feel bad if I thought she'd worry about me. I wanted to assure her I was fine.

She looked at me and smiled. Something about her made me feel.. differently. I couldn't explain it. I've never had that feeling before, so I didn't know what it was. It was like... everything in the world was correct and right when she smiled at me. Even though sad things happened and it was shit outside and my head hurt, it still somehow made me feel good when she did that. In general, I felt at ease when she was near me. I could not explain the feeling and it bothered me. It bothered me enough that I kept staring at her instead of my glass of water.

She put her hands on her hips and looked at me. "Are you going to be ok?", She asked. I nodded at her. There was genuine concern in her voice, which I didn't expect. She looked outside and sighed.

"How far do you live?", I asked. In that weather, walking anywhere was a pain, let alone if she lived far away. I didn't have any plan. Maybe calling her a taxi would have been great, but somehow that didn't occur to either of us. Though maybe she lived somewhere where you couldn't go by car, which would make it infinitely worse in this weather, and I wanted her to walk somewhere like that even less.

"On the other side of the town", she said. "Near the lake", she added, looked outside again, and sighed. On the other side? That's like more than a few miles! In that weather? There was no way in hell I'd let her walk that distance, alone, in that storm.

"You're so not going out there alone," I told her in a firm voice. I wasn't going to let that happen. "Stay the night here at my place. Take a shower, dry yourself up, and stay. I can sleep here, on the couch. The bedroom is just cleaned, I changed the sheets today. You can crash there for tonight," I said.

"You sure?", She asked with her eyes wide open. Her concern for me was apparent from her voice. "I'm a total stranger to you and you're drunk. You shouldn't do things like this..." She said. She looked at me awkwardly. It was clear that she didn't want to go out there, but I want sure if she wanted to stay here either.

I looked straight into her eyes, and before I could stop myself, I just blurted out, "I trust you." I don't know why, but I did. I just realized it then, but I trusted her with my life. I could've given her a gun and went to sleep beside her and be perfectly sure she wouldn't do anything to me. I can't explain the feeling, I just knew that. She opened her mouth to say something, then just closed it and stared at me. She looked at me for a minute, then smiled, then laughed out. To my drunk ears, her laugh sounded like the most wonderful thing in the world and I smiled at her and started laughing along with her.

"You're something, alright", she said in the midst of laughing. "Alright, I'll take you on about your offer, but I can take the couch, you go sleep in your own bed", she said and smiled at me. She offered me her arm, and I grabbed it. She pulled me up, or tried at least. I'm quite a bit shorter than her, but while drunk I still managed to pull her on top of me on the couch. She was so close. Her face was right on top of mine. I could smell her. She smelled so good. A hint of fruits within a flowery fragrance. Her lips were right there, next to mine, so close but yet so far away. It would be so easy to reach out with mine and just... Her eyes were like big blue lakes on a cloudless day. Staring right into mine. I tried to look into those eyes and find out what she thought, but I couldn't. It wasn't a hostile gaze in either way. She was taller than me, but she wasn't that heavy. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling having her there. My heart beat really fast and my breath quickened. She felt soft, her body against me. I didn't know women would feel so soft. I can't say I disliked any of it. I felt a hotness spread throughout my body, like a warm cup of tea after a winter day outside. I found, to my absolute surprise, that I was aroused. Just her being there was enough to wake my parts up. A small thought was born, deep inside my head. What if...

She rose up quickly and apologized. She turned away, but I could see her cheeks were flushed. She didn't say anything, just braced her feet better and pulled me up from the couch, this time successfully. I was silent too, though my heart beat faster still. Her scent lingered in my nose, her touch on my bosom. Without the alcohol, I'd probably be too embarrassed and shocked, but now I was just... entranced. I couldn't come up with a better word. Everything about her intrigued me too much. I wanted to get to know her better. She guided me to my bedroom and supported me when I almost fell over again. She lowered me to my bed and stood back. Her cheeks were still lightly flushed, and she looked at me awkwardly. I patted the bed next to me and looked at her with my head tilted. I could see the desire and doubt in her eyes, but she shook her head.

"You're drunk and you've just been dumped," she said calmly. "I'm not one to take advantage of anyone. If you want me to come to your bed, invite me when you're sober and feeling fine. I'll consider it then," she said and smiled at me. "For now, good night, Jo," she said and kissed the top of my head, turned around and walked out of my bedroom, and closed the door behind her.

I looked at the door for a minute, before falling on my bed. The world spun around for a while and I kept staring at the ceiling. The day's events kept running through my head, from early morning's happiness to afternoon's terrible ones to evening's rather pleasant ones. There was a buzz in my head that I tried to ignore, but I couldn't. I thought about getting up and getting washed and taking a shower, but after trying to sit up resulted in a queasy feeling and me falling back to bed, I decided to skip it for today and I'd take a shower in the morning. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the world spinning. It did not work. I was too worked up and what happened before kept returning to my head. I tried to reason with myself and tried to figure out why I felt like I did. I concluded that I had no fucking idea, and it was probably the alcohol. But it didn't explain everything. It didn't explain why my breathing was still so quick, why my heart beat so fast and why... why did my downstairs almost burn. The image of Kat falling on top of me popped into my mind again. Her eyes staring into mine, her body pressed against me. Without realizing it, I noticed my hand had slipped into my panties and I was soaking. It wasn't from the storm outside, but the storm inside. I didn't have answers to any questions. Why did this happen? I'd never before gotten so excited by someone just lying on me. On the contrary, I thought I had a problem on that front and had to take measures when dealing with men before. They didn't like when I used products to make things easier and blamed me on it, and I had believed all of it. But clearly they - and I - had been wrong. I had the evidence here, literally at my fingertips. I moaned softly as my fingers slid around my lips. What am I doing? Am I really doing this? Thinking about Kat, about another woman, and touching myself? But thinking about her made me so excited, so aroused, and I couldn't explain it away. Her lips, right there, almost touching mine. She was so close I could've easily kissed her... thinking about kissing her almost made my mind blank out and at the same time my fingers found their way into me. I moaned loudly and panted. A quiet - at least I hoped it was quiet - "Kat...!" escaped my lips, and I really hoped I didn't scream aloud, and I hoped she didn't hear me. I'd die of embarrassment if she found out. My mind kept throwing images of her on top of me, and my fingers kept caressing my places outside and in. Finally, I let out what I hoped was a long moan and not a scream, and slumped down onto my bed, completely spent.

I tried to fall asleep, but the light from the hallway kept shining straight into my eyes, so after a little while, when I had gotten some of my strength back, I rose up and wobbly walked to the door, closed it, and went back to bed. I heard the shower running and figured Kat had gone to wash up. I fell asleep quickly after that and slept until the next morning.