LONELY| Thomas Shelby

1.7

BETH'S EYEBROWS RAISED towards Alfie as if challenging him to speak. "It's Tommy ain't it."  He grumbled from the desk he sat in that night. Beth sat on the bed glaring at Alfie who refused to so much as look at her. "Alfie, you know how much I love you, you do but this is unfair to the both of us. You've known since the start of all this that this would happen. You just fell for me anyways." Beth grumbled, her eyes watering with tears as she looked out the window onto the city of Camden Town.

"We're not supposed to be engaged you and me. We're supposed to be enemy's. Did you know that?" Alfie replied almost teasingly, taking his glasses off and folding them leaving them neatly onto his desk. Sitting up Beth unclipped the pins in her hair letting it fall down her back. Her frustration letting lose and she threw her arms into the air.

"Well don't just sit there Alfie. Man up and do something. Shout at me! Scream at me! Push me! Tell me to get out! Hit me! Call me a whore! Just do something!" She shouted, throwing her arms around. "It's not worth it, is it eh? See Darling that's all you want. Attention." Letting out a growl, Beth stood out of the bed pointing her finger towards Alfie. Her hands shook as she glared.

"Thomas Shelby has been the love of my life since the day I met him at age fucking seven and I always have and always will love him and you knew that when you put that ring on my finger. I'm sorry I'm selfish! I know I am but no matter who I picked someone would get hurt and I know I'm a bloody fucking idiot to go back to Thomas Shelby once again but maybe I won't. Maybe I'll stay single- but this isn't right! You and I aren't right. It'd just be selfish to stay with you when I know- I know I love Tommy."

Alfie stared for a moment, his eyes creasing as he frowned. "So this is good fucking bye, eh?" Beth shrugged her eyes filling with tears as she hugged her arms around her body. "I am really sorry Alfie. I'm so so sorry." Alfie shook his head rolling his eyes, opening his arms for Beth who quickly obliged, walking towards Alfie and allowing him to pull her into his lap in a tight hug. "I'll always love you, eh? C'mon don't be getting fucking soppy on me or I'll start to cry too." Laughing into his shoulder, Beth rolled her eyes.

"I do love you. Just sometimes people who love each other aren't meant to be together. That's what Calvin would have said. You really did save me Alf, I would have fucked my life up  even more without you. Even though we're enemies." Beth chuckled, wiping her eyes. Alfie only hugged her tighter a small tiring grin on his face, his hand rubbing up and down her back. "It s'kay, eh? You'll always be my Bethany Clover." Biting down on her lip, Beth held back a sob as she squeezed Alfie, tears running down her face.

After spending the night up talking with Alfie, Beth decided it would be best for her to go back to Small Heath with Curly that next day. Turning she grinned one last time towards Alfie who nodded his head at her. Taking his cap off he bowed. "We'll meet again." Smiling Beth, let out a laugh nodding her head and curtseying. "Hey listen, i'll come back when he cheats on me and gets another woman pregnant. Again." Beth shouted, over the hammering rain that begun to drench her hair to her face.

Alfie only laughed and nodded before turning and walking back into the factory. A grin on his face.

•

As Beth and Curley entered Birmingham, the next night Beth felt exhausted. Curley drove her to the Garrison to which she requested and she entered with her head high. John was leaned against the counter talking to Arthur and upon seeing her threw his hands up into the air excitedly. "Bethany!" He yelled, like a waiting child he ran towards her and scooped her into his arms. "I've bloody missed you so I have!" Grinning tiredly, Beth patted him onto the shoulder. "You too Johnny boy, you too."

Arthur grinned, nodding to her knowingly from across the counter and pulling out a bottle of rum, sliding it towards her. "Have you heard the news?" Arthur asked, grinning smugly. Beth's eyebrows furrowed and she slowly shook her head, looking at John for reassurance who clapped his hands excitedly like a toddler. "Linda's with child!" Arthur shouted happily. A few of the man in the pub cheered and Beth quickly laced a fake smile onto her face, trying to hide the eye roll that attempted to fall past her.

"I'm delighted for you Arthur." Beth grinned, grasping the bottle in her hand and taking a large gulp. "I'm sorry to leave the celebration so early but I'm really tired. I think i'm going to head up to the grave yard for a while." John and Arthur shot each other a knowing look and John nodded clasping his hand around Beth's shoulders and pulling her into his side. "Does Tommy know your home early?" John asked, studying Beth's sunken and pale face. Shaking her head she shrugged.

"No. I was supposed to be staying for longer but I ended it with Alfie. Curley and I drove back yesterday morning." She replied quickly. John let out a small giggle, his hand clasping over his mouth quickly. "I'm sorry for laughing doll-Are you okay?" Rolling her eyes Beth let out a laugh, beginning to walk away. "Try not to be too happy Johnny boy." John opened his mouth the answer but Beth had already left the pub and was onto the streets of Small Heath.

Wandering past the Garrison she began to study the full moon that lead her through the mucky fields. Hiking up the hill, the ends of her dress became brown and muddy and her shoes were a shade of dark brown. The moonlight kept her going until she reached the black rusted gate, pushing it open with a creak. Walking along the graves she found the tree that stalked across from her mother, father and brothers grave and slid down against it until she was sitting in the muddy grass and tree roots.

Gulping back a mouthful of rum she closed her eyes as the tears began to trail down her face, broken sobs emitting around the grave yard as Beth hugged her legs closer to her chest. "Oh Calvin. Does it ever get fucking easier."

AUTHORS NOTE
ok i cried writting this chapter. sorry i physically sobbed during this chapter. i just love alfie so much and i knew he wouldn't be mad at beth and ugh it all just broke my heart. but there you have it folks the end of alfie solomons and bethany clover :( . pls leave a comment whether you liked this chapter or not because it was a risky move but honestly i think this is what would have actually happened if beth was in peaky blinders. more to come.
ally xx