The Suitors: A BTS fanfic

17

That was it. I balled my fist and launched all the power of my right side into his jaw, sending him to the ground with a grunt. I stepped towards him, about to kick the life out of his useless body but stopped myself.

He scrambled but got back to his feet fairly quick. He looked surprised, but also infuriated. "Just you wait you ungrateful imbecile." He said through his arm while holding his jaw. "Your father will bring more hell down on you than I ever could." He turned, throwing open the door, just to look back at me with another repulsed look. "Just you wait." He repeated.

And then he was gone, leaving my door open. I wiped my still watery eyes and shut the entry. Even if I had hit him, even if I had stood up for the princess, I was still the biggest coward in all the kingdom.

****

I laid in my bed, the hour unknown to me. I just knew it was late. I felt like I should be tired, but I wasn't. I had so many thoughts it made my head hurt. What the fuck was I going to do? I admitted it. In the heat of the moment I admitted to myself that I loved her. I loved the girl I was supposed to kill in just a few days. My head pounded.

No, I can't love her. I won't. I can't betray my family that had given me everything. And above all I'm not worthy of her love in return and I never would be. So even if I did love her, which I now tried to convince myself was impossible, it wouldn't make a difference. She deserved better than me. My mind switched its own position so many times I didn't even know for which side I was arguing anymore.

So fucking messy.

I didn't know how quickly or slowly time was passing, but I had calmed down. My breathing was finally even again and my mind not so crowded. That was when I heard a soft knock on my door. I sat up, confused as to who would be here at this hour. If it were my father's councilor, he would have just come in.

I sat up slowly, making sure that I hadn't imagined the knock a moment ago. Another quiet knock made me stand up. "Yoongi?" A voice whispered from behind the other side of the door. "Are you awake?"

I furrowed my eyebrows together. I couldn't quite identify who the voice belonged to, but it sounded familiar. I knew it was one of the other suitors. I pulled the door open and found Jimin standing in front of me. A bright smile wiped across his face.

"Oh, I'm glad you're up."

I couldn't seem to force a smile, but it was nice to finally interact with someone that wasn't pissed at me. "What can I do for you, Jimin?"

"Not what you can do for me, but for a very pretty, very grateful princess a few halls over." He joked.

My breath escaped me. "Y-y/n wants to see me?" I stuttered.

"She asked for you particularly," I raised my eyebrows, surprised. I know I had just saved her life, but after what I said to her in the hall last night, I thought she would still be mad at me.

Jimin nodded, enthusiastically. It struck me how kind the younger boy was being to me. If I were in his shoes, I would never go fetch another man for the woman I was pining for. He was the kind of man y/n should be with. "That whole saving her life thing surely must have put you ahead of the other guys, Yoongi. Good job," He chuckled.

"I don't know... I don't think we're really the right match." I replied hesitantly.

His smile wavered. "Really? You think so? The way she talked about you... the way she asked for you... it seemed like she felt something for you. Maybe I'm just an over analyzer."

I breathed deeply. Did she really talk about me fondly? After all I've done to her? After all thing cruel things, I've said, could she really still feel anything for me other than hatred? It made my heart that usually felt little to nothing, ache dully. It just proved to me what a kind and forgiving person she was. It made me curse in my mind. "Well, thank you Jimin, I'll go see her now."

Jimin nodded curtly with a grin. He turned to leave, pausing for a moment and looking over his shoulder to give some parting words. "You're a lucky guy, Min Yoongi. Y/n is the type of girl you meet only once in your life." And then he was gone.

His words rang in my head on repeat as I winded through the halls, making my way to the room I heard she was recovering in.

I didn't quite know what I was going to say to her, or what she had to say to me. Inside of me was an endless game of tug-of-war. The way she made me feel was unique. Unfamiliar. Exciting? I couldn't pin it down.

But on the other hand, my family needed me. This is how empires were built. Betrayal, hard work, merciless rule. I had to do what needed to be done not only for the prosperity of my own family, but the kingdom. Y/n's parents had drove this land into poverty and waste. I needed to push these pesky feelings aside; they were doing nothing but holding me back. Love has no place in the game of kings and queens. I was stronger than this. Stronger than the way she made me feel.

Yet, relentlessly, such an odd, unfamiliar feeling found purchase in the pit of my belly. I couldn't seem to shake it as I got closer to her room. I had heard people describe this feeling before, but I felt so stupid and juvenile using it to express my feelings. But it was true what everyone said, it really was the best way to articulate what I was feeling.

Butterflies in my stomach.