Preath - Behind The Door

Feelings

"What?" Christen says, loosening up and laughing. I play it cool and laugh along with her, pretending that I was in the middle of unpacking my bags, although I think we both know that's not what I was doing. 

As I walk around to my bed, the room is filled with her scent. It smells so good. Definitely an expensive sort of scent. I reach for my bags and bring them up onto my bed so I can unpack. I didn't realize how much I brought with me. 

Christen heads back into the bathroom - Christen's POV

I stepped back into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I got dressed and brushed my curly hair out. Why did Tobin look so scared when I walked out? Hm. I mean she was by my phone, but- shit. What if Julie texted me back about what I should do about Tobin?! I hurry and finish up in the bathroom before practically running over to my phone. Tobin is already in bed, watching a movie. 

I flip my phone over, and sure enough. There's a text from Julie. I respond back.

Should I tell her right now? Idk what to do! I'm not good at making the first move!

Luckily, she texted back right away. 

Christen, she's definitely into you. Just do it! I believe in you! <3 Let me know how it goes.

I take a deep breath in, and Tobin looks over at me. 

"Everything okay?" She asked. 

I didn't know I seemed nervous, but now that I think about it, my heart is racing and- am I sweating? "Yeah, just texting my parents about the game," I lied, putting on a fake smile. 

She kept looking at me, with an "I don't believe that for a second" kind of look. 

I pretend not to notice and take a couple minutes to build up the courage to finally admit I have feelings for her. 

Okay, I can do this. It's easy. All I have to say is "I like you" and then it's over. Okay. I can do it. 

I sit up in my bed. Tobin immediately looks over at me. 

"Tobs, I have to tell you something." My heart is racing now.

She sits up, looking slightly worried. "You can tell me anything, Chris." She adjusts how she's sitting and turned herself to face me. 

"I know. It's just-" I pause. Am I really about to say this right now?

"What is it?" Tobin asks. "Is it something bad?"

"Well, no- well, it could be? I mean- okay wait, I'll just say it. Tobs, I really  like you." I blurted out.

She freezes. Oh no. This is gonna be awkward. I regret it. She doesn't feel the same. Why did I do this? I put my head into my hands and breathe out. My breath is stopped midway when I feel a hand on my knee. I don't pick my head up just yet. I know it's Tobin's hand. I'm expecting the worst. I finally decide to pick my head up out of my hands. She slowly sits down on the side of the bed beside me. 

"Chris, look at me," Tobin says. I look up, but not at her. "No, in my eyes." She gently grabs my face and lifts it up so we are eye-to-eye. 

She pauses and swallows. "I really like you too, Christen." 

I feel my whole body relax. "You do, really?" I ask. 

"I really do. I've liked you since I first laid my eyes on you. I've always gravitated towards you. It's always been you. I just didn't have the guts to tell you because I was too afraid. I didn't think you felt the same way." She says.

I pause in disbelief. "Wow," I whisper, with a smile coming across my face. Am I tearing up? I look back to Tobin who is also smiling now. She reaches out and grabs both my hands. 

"Chris, I don't know if this is too soon to say, but... Christen I love you." She says. My grip from her hands loosens up and I rest them on her knees. I almost second guess what I do next, but before I had the chance to, I lean forward and kiss her. She leans forward into me and we both fall backwards onto my pillow, still not letting go of each other. We both smile and separate our lips. She sits up, still straddled on top of me. We both start laughing quietly. Tobin looks over to the clock and sees that it's almost 12 A.M. now. 

"It's getting late. We should... probably go to sleep now." She said. I agreed. She carefully climbed off of me and climbed into her own bed. I sort of wish she would just sleep with me in my bed but I didn't want to say anything.

I turn over on my side to face her. 

"Hey Tobs?" I ask.

"Hm?" She's already falling asleep.

"I haven't said it back yet," I add.

"What?" She mumbles.

"I-I love you too." I say. I see her turn over on her side and she's smiling. She's so perfect. I remembered that I had to text Julie back.

Julie are you awake?

She reads it almost instantly.

YES did you do it?!

Hahah yeah! I did! She said she feels the same way! 

AHHHH YAY IM SO PROUD OF YOU CHRISTEN OMG

I definitely wouldn't have done that without you convincing me, Julie. Thank you. So much.

Of course, Christen. :) better get to sleep, we have training tomorrow. :P