It Started on the Train

15

It's been a few weeks.

It's gotten easier. I have spent more time with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and that really takes my mind off of everything.

Usually I'm fine, but every now and then I'll pass Draco in the fall and feel a twinge of something inside me, or I'll lie awake at night thinking about him. At those times I just shove down anything I feel.

The O.W.L.s are really stressful. We are almost finished with them though, which I am very thankful for.

Ron, Hermione and I found out that Harry passed out during an examination, so we met up with him, and he explained that he saw Sirius being tortured by Voldemort in the department of mysteries.

Harry and Hermione start arguing over whether Sirius was actually being tortured. Ron was backing up Harry, and Hermione kept looking at me like I should be helping her, but to be honest, I don't know.

However, Hermione is hardly ever wrong.

"I think Hermione is right Harry." I can't make much of an argument to help her, but she seemed to be doing fine on her own.

The look on Hermione's face was enough triumph for her to be satisfied with my contribution.

We ended up using Umbridge's fire to contact Sirius while Luna, Neville, and Ginny kept a lookout.

Kreacher told us Sirius wasn't there, and then Umbridge came in with her little squad.

Draco and I glared at each other as he restrained me. He grabbed the wand out of my pocket.

Hermione convinced Umbridge to take her and Harry to show her a "secret weapon." I have no idea what she was talking about, but her plans usually go well, so I try to help her.

The moment they were gone, I looked at Ginny and once she was looking back at me and Draco was looking elsewhere, I motioned to the wands. I did the same for Ron. I assumed they would be most able to wrestle free of their captors. The three of us waited for a good moment, and when everyone seemed distracted, I nodded at them.

The moment Ginny saw the nod, she backward kicked Pansy. Pansy fell over taking Ginny with her, but that was enough to loosen her grip just enough for Ginny to get free and take her wand back, but not before Pansy could claw at her face.

Meanwhile, Ron seemed to have twisted his hands to get them free and took his wand.

I elbowed Draco in the ribs hard. Hermione once told me that the elbow is the best bone to attack with. I don't remember why, but it seemed like it would work. Sure enough, an elbow to the ribs was all it took to get free.

Once we had our wands, we stunned Goyle and Pansy, who were back on their feet and trying to regain control. Then Draco, and we then stunned Luna and Neville's captors.

I grabbed Hermione and Harry's wands before we ran out the door.

...........................................................................

Everything that happened after that was messy. Everyone but Harry got some kind of messed up by a hex or curse or in Ron's case, a brain.

However, Harry had his own issues.

Sirius was murdered by Bellatrix.

Harry is an absolute wreck and for good reason. Sirius is the closest thing to a father he had.

I am just now going back to my dorm after spending a week in the medical wing because of a nasty bedazzling hex from Lucius Malfoy. It didn't wear off until this morning. Of course, I don't think he knew it was me.

It is night, which sucks because I want to do something because I am finally free from Madam Pomfrey's constant watch, and I wanted to do something.

I walk into the common room and head to my dorm.

Draco comes around the corner and I just about run into him.

"Hey Malfoy." I mumble, shoving him out of the way to move past him.

"Addilyn." Something in his voice stops me.

"What?"

He pulls me in and hugs me tightly. I definitely didn't expect him to react like this when last time we were in the same room I elbowed him and then stunned him.

"I'm so glad you didn't die Hale."

I laugh humorlessly.

"I just mean that was really dangerous going there, and I was terrified you wouldn't make it out. I should have known you would never let something like escaped criminals and the Dark Lord be the end of you. Still, I was worried."

"Why?" I snap at him.

He backs away looking almost hurt.

"Addilyn, I care about you."

"Well you don't need to. We broke up, we're over, it's done." I say it a little too forcefully.

"I understand that you're mad at me-"

"Furious."

"Alright, furious, but can you please hear me out?"

I cross my arms over my chest. It looks almost comical, Draco is much bigger than me now. I always wished I were bigger. Height gives you power. People listen to tall people.

I straighten my back to make myself feel a little taller.

"Ok." Draco takes a deep breath. "Every time we get into an argument, I kick myself." I make an unladylike snort. He cracks a slight smile.

"You are always right, but when we argue, I forget about your side of it. Then once I realize I'm wrong, or at least partially wrong, it's too late, and I'm too stubborn to apologize. And I know you are too. We are so different, but also the same.

"Everything you do makes me crazy. When we are together I feel like there is something inside me about to explode. Every second we aren't together feels like a second wasted. We ruin each other. But what if I want you to ruin me?

"I hate this Addilyn. I hate it. I hate how you're always right. I hate it when we fight. I hate how you make me feel. I hate it when you're not around, and the way we go months without talking. But more than any of that, I hate how I don't hate you. Not even close. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. And I hate most of all that Addilyn Hale, I love you."

I stand there speechless. Draco has never been the kind of person to be sweet or sentimental. And it seems almost alien how he is standing there almost... nervously?

"I love you too Draco." I leaned in and kissed him.

It was only in this moment that I realized that was what I felt. Before this I had maybe had one or two celebrity crushes when I was a kid. And I had a little crush on Fred in third year.

However what Draco and I have has never compared to any of that.

I never loved my mother. I don't even know my father. But I love my friends like siblings. I know I would sacrifice my life for them.

I would sacrifice my life for Draco too. His happiness means more to me than my own.

This thought terrifies me.

And at the same time, I feel as if admitting this to myself, there is a weight be lifted off my shoulders.

It is amazing to feel certainty for the first time in a while.

I just feel... happy.