Until Now

Broken Glass & Broken Hearts

“So,” Violet leaned forward, watching me, “What are you going to do?”

I shrugged, not sure there was really anything I could do. I had to tell the truth, to come out and tell Jack about my feelings for Logan. If Logan knew about Jack, why was it so hard for me to tell Jack about Logan?

“Well, we’re here for you,” Hallie patted my back, “No matter what. You just have to make the decision for yourself, and we’ll support it.”

“My decision,” I mumbled, resting my head on the counter as it muffled the sound, “Is to date both of them.”

“That’s not possible,” Violet laughed, “You’re just going to have to pick.”

I nodded, knowing she was right. I didn’t want her to be though, and I moved back across the street. “Logan,” I whispered, leaning against the counter. He looked over at me and smiled, helping a customer. When he was finished, he came over. Smiling, he leaned forward to kiss my cheek. “I picked Jack,” I said quickly, not wanting to drag this on longer than it needs to.

“You picked Jack?” He tilted his head, confused.

“Yeah, I did.” I frowned, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” He smiled, “Whatever makes you happy.”

“Friends, though?”

“I don’t think I can.” He shook his head, shrugging. “Sorry.”

I sighed, watching him head back to the register, a line of customers forming. I turned quickly, moving back across the street. I pushed open the door, blinking. Tears blurred my vision, and I hadn’t even realized I was crying until then. The girls rushed to me, wrapping their arms around me. “You did good, Mace.”

“I know,” I sniffled, “I’m going to miss him though.”

“You’ve got Jack’s party coming up tonight, though,” Vi nudged me, “That’s exciting.”

“Yeah, exciting,” I groaned.

Everyone was silent, eyes moving around us. I hesitated, wanting to speak but knowing no words would come out, even if I were trying. Of course, I wasn’t. I took a deep breath, my eyes watching Jack’s. Couldn’t he understood what I was trying to say without making me say it? Sorry wasn’t there, and I needed it.

“Maisie,”

His voice was sharper than I had expected it to be, and it startled me. I looked across the empty room, my eyes meeting Violet and Hallie’s. I didn’t know what to say, and I hated it. I couldn’t breathe as the room seemed to spin around me. I stumbled forward, reaching out to touch him arm. As he yanked it away, he looked to the door. Tyler was standing beside it, disapproval in his eyes when I looked over my shoulder to see him.

“Everyone,” He screamed, “Party’s over!”

“Maisie, are you okay?” Jack sighed, turning back to face me.

And I was. Until suddenly, I wasn’t. Tears blurred my vision, staining my cheeks with the mascara that once covered my eyelashes. I never cried in front of others: I was always okay in public.

No one moved for a second, all eyes facing me once more. With another yell, bodies were set into motion, everyone scrambling towards the door. Everyone except for the two of us, of course. As I looked back over my shoulder for my friends’ encouraging eyes, I felt tears prick at my eyes. My vision blurred as I realized the faces I needed to see had vanished somewhere in the crowd.

I didn’t blame them, I would have left, too. I disgusted myself.

“Maisie,”

I shifted my weight to my other foot. I looked across the room, decorations and broken glasses scattered across the floor. I could faintly hear the music in the background, the words ironically fitting the situation much better than I could have ever said. I closed my eyes, letting the words move me.