𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐘 & 𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐄 / yuji itadori x reader

011 : world alone

His grandfather's dying wish twists like a knife in his heart, twisting as water floods his vision as his gut fills with a sick dread and fear embeds it's self deep into his heart. Itadori has no wish to die. Truly when it all came down it was and he felt his hands split apart as his muscles ruptured and bones cracked as blood filled his lungs, it hurt, it all hurt so much. Regret clouds his mind because he doesn't want to die, he wants to live, he needs to live, he needs to help people. Right? He promised, he promised he might help people and if he dies Fushiguro, Kugisaki, [Name], they would blame themselves wouldn't they? He would if one of them died after leaving them behind. He had no wish truly for any of them to die.

His life is racing through his mind as he watches, a state of perpetual dissociation as Sukuna puppet's his body with such ease. He sees something, not quite Jujutsu, but something of just as much power flash in [Name]'s eyes as she takes the hit from Sukuna, the latter's foot almost driving into their skull. Had it made contact there's the feel of vomit and vile that he remembers the conversation of the previous night. It floods his mind as guilt tears his mind apart and he struggles to regain control of his body.

He couldn't sleep the night before, he'd gone out to sit on the steps of the dorm, eyes trailing upwards to the stars above. Even here in tokyo, hidden away in the mountains of Jujutsu tech there were more stars here than he had ever seen in his entire life.

Beautiful, that's what it was, truly beautiful. Silver sprinkles velvet night, galaxy's spilled from the paintbrush of the vast as it shines with the light of a thousand worlds. It was so, simply, well, vast. So great, so large and he was just a small, small part of it all. If, no, when he died, when my hand would come for him in the embrace of Death in all my horrific kindness, would it truly matter? In the grand cosmos of it all.

"I'd say it would."

Itadori startled, jumping to his feet as he whirled around, panic flashing in his mind. He'd let his mask slip too far, he didn't want anyone to think something was wrong, he wasn't supposed to be that no he was supposed to help people, he couldn't, he couldn't... he couldn't what?

[Name] frowned, they'd discarded their glasses, their clothes consisting of a worn pair of jeans, though the rips they bore were far from intentional and he didn't miss the muddy stain above one of them that brought the thought of blood to mind, a dark hoodie thrown on to complete an almost domestic look. Holding out their hand they offered the bottle of ramune to him, the blue wrapper illegible in what little light there is, a second clutched at her side.

"Here," they said, "is it okay if I join you?"

Itadori blinked, mouth dry as somewhere in the back of his mind Sukuna did nothing but scribble a stream of negativity in between the margins of his thoughts. "Yeah." His voice cracked, "I mean yeah, thanks." [Name] seemed to relax, ever so slightly, it was such a subtle thing he almost missed it. "Can I ask you something?" he blurted out, watching as his friend, (they were friends right?) sat down on the steps, patting the spot next to them.

"I mean you just did," [Name] tried, a light hearted attempt at a joke falling flat as Itadori felt something like a blush flush his cheeks. "But yeah sure," Popping open their bottle with it's typical satisfying snap, the marble inside tinkling against the glass.

Itadori sighed, doing the same to his own, copying [Name]'s motion. "You're smart right?" He shook his head, backtracking violently as he stuttered to find an answer "I mean of course you're smart! You're probably a lot smarter than me, and I—"

"Itadori."

"Huh?"

"Breathe, it's okay, I'm not going to bite your head off."