Our Song ( Sana x Fictional Male Character)

Chapter 29

Meng felt someone snuggling on his right shoulder. He felt this person's arms wrap around his torso. In a state of dreaming, he saw his long time crush, Jessy Mendiola. He muttered, "Aww, my baby's so clingy." Then, he felt something rough—like sandpaper. (A/N: Jessy is a Filipina actress)

It was Eric sleeping beside him.

"What the...?" Meng smacked Eric's head. "Wake up! Why didn't you just sleep in your room?"

"Sana's still there..." Eric replied, only half-awake. Meng looked at him, worried.

"Uh, Eric...Sana left something there for you."

Eric's eyes widened and got off the bed.

***

His room still had her scent—a faint vanilla mixed with florals he couldn't place. The bouquet he gave her had now dried up, with some of its petals wilted.

Everything looked the same, except for an envelope on the study table. It only had his name on it. Inside it contained sheets of paper—a letter.

What immediately took Eric's attention was that, while the sheets were smooth for the most part, there were spots with smudged ink which added another texture.

He sat down and started reading.

***

Hi, Eric.

I assume that, by the time you're reading this, I've already returned to Korea. I apologize to you, your family, and everyone for leaving the way I did...especially before Christmas. I guess I could call it a perk—we can get out of places very easily. Just kidding!

The truth is, I don't want to leave. Imagine waiting for 10 years to be with you, then I have to go? Sucks, right? But that's the way life goes. No matter how much pain and longing you've endured in the past, life doesn't guarantee a prize at the end.

Anyway, I am writing you this letter because I don't want what I said in the car to be my last words to you. You deserve so much better than that.

Funny how it's always a song that brought us together—you practicing "Sana" and you performing the song I made up on stage (I still can't get over it!). There's always a song for every milestone in our short-lived relationship. Is it short if it spanned a decade? (^.^) I don't know. The CD, our first movie, our first kiss, our first dance—there's always a song associated with my best memories of you. Come to think of it, maybe they make up our song? Sorry, I'm getting too melodramatic.

But our song isn't like that. Sure, it had its moments but, at the end of the day, it ends on a sad note.

I'm sorry, I've been very selfish. Even if I knew that the odds of idols having relationships with non-celebrities were very small, and successful ones even smaller, I gambled on a small piece of paper from 10 years ago. Part of me still actually thinks that I'm lame for holding on to something from long ago.

What's worse is that, even if I knew I'd be leaving in a month, I still let you love me. Maybe it's because when I think of a normal life I could have had, my thoughts would always come back to you.

Maybe I should be thankful for that. Being with you let me feel normal again—what is it like to attend a gig? What is it like to walk around and eat wherever you want? What is it like to be courted by someone? What is it like to love and be loved in return? You let me have all those things, and for that I cannot thank you enough.

It was a lie when I told you that you barely know anything about me. The truth is, you're the only one who knew the real me—a silly, clumsy girl who is in need of normalcy. That is why I'd like to apologize for always instigating that you join me in Korea. While I'd see you as my escape, you would eventually realize that you risked everything for scraps, and I can't bear the thought of doing that to you. Even my selfishness has its limits. You have your own life there, and I don't want you to throw it all away for a girl who believed in happy endings.

That being said, I want to say I'm not completely selfish. Look inside the cabinet near your bathroom. Hurry! I want you to see my gift! \( 'o' )/

Did you like it? I know it's not the one you were looking for, but Dahyun told me it's a good brand. So, I bought it even before we went to the beach. I hope you like it—I think the color suits you, too.

Though our song didn't end the way I wanted to, we still have our individual songs being written. I hope my present will help you write yours. So, go ahead—keep writing songs. Even though your band's struggling, you'll get there. I believe in you!

So there—thanks for everything, Eric. Despite the shortness of it, what you gave me would last a lifetime. I wish I'd still get more, and that you wait for me to retire as an idol, but that would be absurd. I'd like to think that I've waited for 10 years to be with you, so what's another 10, right? Just kidding, I can't clip your wings like that. I hope that in another decade, you've already happily placed yourself in the world.

Can I be selfish one last time? I'd want to say that we should forget each other, but how can I do that when I still love you? So, if you just want, give yourself some time to forget me, the way it'll be indefinite for me to do so, too.

Maybe again after 10 years,

Sana

***

Eric held the guitar and felt its clean finish. He noticed that the letter now had more blotches and smudging than before.

"Thanks, Sana."