Replanted Remastered

Who are you?

Weirding Woods was just as they remembered it. Breezy, lively, and (usually) zombie-free. The dread roots kept it that way. Alice had crossed the path they currently walked dozens of times over the years, as they usually accompanied their brother's camping trips. He'd take photos of the landscape as they doodled dread roots and all-star dummies.

They remembered those trips ever so fondly...

..Alice hastily scribbled the date, "July twenty fourth, 2021" at the top of their sketchbook.

"Oi, Alice! Look here! A dread root's posin' for me!" said Markus. Alice glanced up from their sketchbook to see Markus photographing a massive dread root, which extended from the swampy waters. "He's a real' big one, isn't he?"

"Woah, cool!" said Alice. They got up and approached Markus, leaving their sketchbook on the ground. "Can you take a picture of me with it?"

"Sure, man! Hold on, stand still for me." Markus adjusted his polaroid camera, pointing it at Alice and the dread root. "Smile for me, Alice!..."

..Alice snapped back alert upon hearing a noise. A rustling of leaves, snapping twigs, the padding of feet across dirt. Sweetpea stood in front of Alice, aiming at whatever was approaching.

An unfamiliar boy stumbled out from the brush. He had scraggly brown hair tied up in a messy ponytail, and the legs of his baggy pants were caked in dirt and mud.

"Hey, I- Ow!-" The boy buckled as Sweetpea shot him in the shin. He fell to his knees, repositioning himself to clutch at where he'd been shot.

"Sweetpea, no! He's not a zombie!" Alice gathered Sweetpea up into their arms and gave him a stern look. "I'm so sorry about him, he's very protective, he's-"

The boy stared up at them with a puzzled expression. "Who are you?? What are you??" He asked. He had quite a loud voice.

"I'm.. Alice? I use they/them pronouns and-"

The boy stood up and took Alice's hand and looked it over. His brown skin had a sharp contrast to Alice's. "No no, why are you so.. Light?"

Alice drew back their hand. "Oh. I have albinism, I get that a lot,"

"What the hell is an 'abbinism'??"

Alice moved to cover their ears. "I- no, no let's- let's just introduce ourselves first, okay? Please stop yelling,"

"Oh, was I yelling? Sorry, man. I'm Ragz,"

"I'm-"

"Alice, you already said that," Ragz interrupted. "Huh, Alice. That's a weird name,"

Alice raised an eyebrow."Ragz isn't exactly normal either,"

"Huh? What's weird about my name?"

"What's weird about mine??"

Neither responded for a moment, confused.

"N-Nevermind, who cares. I'm Ragz, you're Alice, we're both lost in the woods,"

There was a pause.

"How long have you been here?" Alice asked.

"Oh, a while. I can't tell time, but like.. The sun went down and then up again,"

"Are you.. Hungry?"

"Hungry? Of course I'm hungry, why d'you ask?"

"Oh, I've got some chocolate granola bars in my bag." Alice took off their backpack, rummaging through it. "Hold on, I'll get one for you,"

"Chocolate? The hell is that?"

Alice glanced up, bewildered at Ragz. "..You've got to be kidding me. Just- just take it. Don't eat the wrapper," they found a bar and took it out of their bag, handing it to him.

Ragz turned the bar over in his hands, before tearing the wrapper off with his teeth. With little thought, he chomped down on the bar, eating half of it in a single bite. However, his face lit up the moment he started to chew.

"So.. This - this is what this- uh, chocolate stuff tastes like??"

"Have you seriously never tried chocolate before?"

"No, of course not!" Ragz quickly wolfed down the rest of the granola bar. "This is the best stuff I've ever tasted!"

"I refuse to believe you've never eaten chocolate before,"

"Well, I haven't. Didn't know it existed my whole life,"

"..Oh. That's sad. Well, I've got more, if you want-"

"You have more??"

Alice gave Ragz the remainder of their chocolate chip granola bars. He quickly ate each of them, smiling between every bite.

"You must really like chocolate, huh?" said Alice.

"I love this shit! This is the best!" Ragz replied. "Wow, man. Thanks for your chocolate,"

"You're welcome, I guess. Well.. now what?"

"I dunno. I might go back to being lost in the woods. You wanna be lost in the woods with me?"

"Oh, I'm not lost. I was just looking for my brother. If you wanna stop being lost, you can follow me, if you'd like,"

"Sure! Anything beats bein' stuck alone here forever n' ever,"

Alice progressed down the forest path with Ragz at their side, jumping when new trees burst from the ground and hopping over the thick tree roots covered in tire marks from ages of being driven over.

"Let me guess, another kid lost in the woods?" Alice guessed.

To their surprise, two buckethead zombies emerged from the trees, groaning and stumbling towards them.

"..Apparently I guessed wrong,"

"Ah fuck, bad guys," Ragz muttered, raising his fists in a fighting position. Alice raised an eyebrow at him, before focusing back on the danger at hand.

Alice lifted up Sweetpea to give him a better angle to shoot from. "Sweetpea, fire!" they shouted. The pair worked together, with Alice moving Sweetpea about to perfect his shots, until - at last - he knocked it's head off.

"Good job, Sweetpea!" Alice praised. Though, quickly, they diverted their attention back to Ragz and the second buckethead.

"YAHH!" Ragz shouted, uppercutting the zombie's jaw- sending it's head flying straight off in a single swing. It slumped backward, tumbling to the forest floor in a heap.

"Wow! I didn't think that would work!" he exclaimed, beaming at Alice.

"..How.. how on earth- what??" they said through their uneven breathing. "I mean, that - that.. was so cool,"

"Hey, Sweetpea's pretty cool too! He killed the first one!"

"Are you kidding?? You punched a zombie's whole head off!"

"Like it's hard?"

"..You are the actual craziest person I've ever met. -And I've met Crazy Dave, by the way,"

"Who's Crazy Dave?"

There was a pause. Alice blinked. "Are you kidding me?"