Imaginary

...Therefore I Forgive You

During the year of 2017, i was at my highest, the fan account i had made for Sabrina Carpenter was getting a ton of love, support, and recognition.

That truly took my mind off, how ugly the people on the internet could be, i then even met her again, during another tour she was headlining, she didn't remember me, but i still got to hug her again and help jog her memory.

I was truly so thankful that i had a found a light at the end of the darkness, god was there for me when i needed him the most, all i had to do was call upon his name and ask.

And once he guided me to the end of the tunnel, he shined a spotlight on Sabrina, knowing that if i turned to her music, if i focused on her as a person from here on out, i would be happy.

As i was getting noticed by Sabrina online left and right, staying up until midnight with Annie, just to listen to her new singles and music, and binge watching, as well as rewatching, Girl Meets World a million times.

I was starting to get use to happiness again, feeling it all the time, and really allowing myself to be deserving of it.

Towards the end of the year, i passed the ninth grade, turned 15 and really felt the farthest from depression than i ever had in a long time.

Had a wall dedicated to my love for Sabrina in my room, as i hung the photos of her and i too the wall.

Feeling so grateful of god's plan for me.

It wasn't until around of the year though, that i found another obsession.

a Science Fiction show called Stranger Things.

A show i wasn't very fond of when it first came out, due to all the unnecessary hype around the first season.

But once season two came out, i found the other part of my happiness, that i was missing.

Millie Bobby Brown, i know this whole chapter sounds like a freaking fan girl letter or something.

But to finally have people, music, and tv shows to focus on, that bring nothing but happiness, that's something to be grateful for.

That's something to talk about, well in my opinion.

I could go on for hours.

There were of course some highs and lows in this year of 2017, but the good outweighed the bad, if i had to put it on a scale.

"I can't sleep" i said to Annie, as we laid in my bed one night, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, me either... run lines or crying scenes?" Annie asked, as she sat up in my bed with me at literally two am.

"Crying scenes" i said, sitting up as well, across from her, and we got into character.

if you didn't know, what we mean by crying scenes is, Annie and i had memorized so many lines from Stranger Things and Girl Meets World, that we would literally spend hours, at night, saying the lines to each other and pretending we were actresses.

I had even started to get the hang of crying on cue, so i really wanted, to put that in my acting moments i had with Annie.

Usually Annie could tell if i was crying for real, during a scene and needed comfort, or if i was faking it and was doing just fine.

But i know she would lie to me, when we would finish a scene and she would look at me, mouth open wide, as she started clapping and saying she couldn't tell if i was acting or not.

This just became our thing when we couldn't sleep and wanted to do something, other than go on social media for hours on end.

"Why don't we do the scene from girl meets forgiveness project in girl meets world, uh.. season two" Annie said, putting her hair behind her ears.